A letter to my daughter

"...this could be the best day of my life
I've been dreaming night and day about the fun we'll have"

Abrielle,

I meant to do this for your 6 month "birthday" but it seems as though time has sped up and is flying by us. At this point I have come to terms with the fact that your babyhood will be over before I know it, so I am now just trying to cherish every moment. You turned 7 months yesterday and I am still in disbelief that you could possibly be that old.  You are now closer to a toddler than you are to a baby. 

Even after 7 months, just last night after I went in to peek on you (yes, your father and I both still do that) before I went to bed, I was closing your door with a big goofy smile on my face, thinking the thought that crosses my mind and also my lips several times a day:

"how did I get so lucky?"

I'll never know the answer to that question, and that is OK with me.  You are such a good and joyful baby and it is such a blessing to be around you everyday.  You are so generous with your smiles and I defy anyone not to smile back at you. 

There are so many things I love about you and doing with you.  I have written several times about how I love our mornings together, just as we are spending right now. I love how when I feed you and you are sleepy you doze off and snuggle in to me, as though you could never feel more loved, comforted or safe.  I often gaze down at those cherubic little lips softly parted and your long lashes resting on your cheeks and feel a surge of warmth inside me.



I love our routine after you get up from a nap of going and opening the blinds to see if it is a nice day.  I love how you now part the curtains in anticipation of this and gaze upon our backyard. 

I love how you are now mugging for the camera, although it is making it hard to get some more candid moments, such as the one above, on film. 



I love your big sloppy kisses, and how you use both of your tiny hands to bring our faces closer together.  I love how you are constantly exploring everyone's faces with your hands as though you are committing the details to memory.



I love how curious you are.  You are constantly launching your little body or doing some sort of gymnastics when something catches your eye.  One of my favourites is when I pull you into bed on the weekends and you try to climb over me to get to your father, who you just somehow know is there.

I love how when you are happy, which is the majority of the time, you move and squeal and laugh as though there is too much happiness in your body for you to contain. 

I love how independent you are.  God help the person who tries to feed you when you want to do it yourself.  Although it frightens me, I love how sometimes you just wont sit still and need to walk with us holding your hands.  It's as though you are far to busy to just sit and enjoy the company.

I love how we cuddle and read books, and often you will look up at me as I read with an expression that seems to say "and then what happened?".

I love watching you with your cousins, especially Ryann, because she has something special that brings the most smiles and giggles out of you.



I love kissing you.  To date, you have probably received 7 million kisses from me, and I tell you every day that I am going to keep kissing you until the day I die.

I love how you made my husband a father.  I thought that I couldn't love your Dada anymore before you were born, but I was wrong. I get tears in my eyes every day watching you too goofs together.  Abby honey, you have no idea what it is like to see a big bear of a man be so connected with such a tiny little body.  You adore your father to the point that sometimes I get momentarily jealous.  I often get texts from your Dad that say something simple like "I just love her so much!".  I know that you are on his mind all of the time.



I love how you love hockey.  Now, some might argue it is just the fast movement and bright colors, but you seem to have a genuine appreciation for it.  Hockey has played a very big role in your father and I's relationship and the fact that we can share this with you is beyond awesome.  You attended most of Oilfield Anything's games this year with me and Kaella, Cheyenne and Carman, and as you grew older you transitioned from sleeping through them to excitedly waving your blanket as they played.  We even got a picture of you and your Daddy on ice.



Every day that passes, I think to myself "this is it, I couldn't possibly get any happier than this.  I couldn't love you more than this" yet every day I prove myself wrong.  Every day that I get to spend with you somehow my heart just grows a little more and I fill that spot with more love.

I could go on forever about how much I love you, my little bumblebee, but I will never be able to fully express how I feel.  You have made a mark on my heart and changed me forever, and I can't imagine a life without you.  You have made everything in my life better and I am so, so, SO lucky to be your mama.

One of "Those" People

On Being Vegan

About a year and a half ago I decided to stop eating meat, eggs and dairy.  In the year and a half that has elapsed, I have fielded a lot of questions and gone through a lot of changes, both philosophical and physical.  Hopefully this post will answer a few questions!

I became vegan almost accidentally.  I was up late one night and there was nothing on TV so I was watching the Joy Behar show and Alicia Silverstone was on.  She was promoting a new book she wrote called "The Kind Diet".  I really liked how she presented herself.  She fully admits that she use to love meat and had a hard time giving it up initially.  She also presented her book as a tool for people to use to introduce some aspects of vegan lifestyle into their daily lives.  Not once did she preach or say that people should do exactly what she did.

The next day I ordered it online from Amazon and anxiously awaited it in the mail.  When it came in, I read it front to back.  The book is structured so that the first half is research and information, and the second half is recipes.



Although the book was extensively referenced, I wasn't really willing to leave it at that, so I did some additional research.  A lot of what I read resonated with me, so I decided that I would give veganism a go for a 2 week trial period.  I figured it would be so difficult to follow that I would abandon it soon after that, but hopefully incorporate one or two meals in a week.

So, off we went.  Tyler didn't go whole hog (no pun intended!)  vegan, but relegated meat eating to the weekends, and still kept dairy in his diet.  After a week I could feel a huge difference internally.  I just felt...better.   I felt cleaner and food was way more satisfying.  When I had cravings, they were actually for something that I was missing in my diet (like an apple if I hadn't had a lot of fruits that day).

I was a changed woman.  I dropped about 30 lbs (see before and after...now, I know the after still isn't great, but it is a start!).

Here is me in the summer of 2009, before adopting this diet. 



Yikes, I know.

Here is me exactly one year later...and also almost 5 months pregnant



A big difference if you ask me.  Solely through diet.

Another big difference is that I use to be sick all of the time.  I missed so much work, school and general life because I would be throwing up for no reason, have terrible headaches, or generally just be unwell.  I caught every single bug that came my way.  Now I rarely get sick, which is great!

Now, in a year and a half I have gotten lazy and I definitely don't eat as clean as I use to, and I think I am going to re-read the book so that I get inspired again. 

So, what do I eat?  Everyone always asks that question with an air of disbelief, as though there isn't a single food on this planet that wasn't produced by an animal.  I eat pretty much everything!

Now, there are certain categories of food that are just automatically out.  Like baked goods, which is a real blessing in disguise!  I also have adapted a lot of recipes for delicious vegan desserts though, like cinnamon buns, scones, cookies, etc.  Easy.

To make it easy, here is what a typical day looks like for me.

Breakfast:  Raisin toast with peanut butter, coffee with soy milk
Snack:  Fruit, a (homemade) muffin, veggies
Lunch:  A big salad with sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds, or a sandwich with veggies, humus and mustard.
Snack:  Popcorn, corn chips, rice chips, crackers...something deliciously carb-filled
Supper:  Steamed veggies and hearty grain (quinoa, barley, or rice),

Pretty easy!  Everything is available at a local grocery store, so it isn't like I have to travel far and wide for my food. 

Now, something different about my diet is I don't really like a lot of meat substitutes.  The only one I buy is Oh Natural Veggie nuggets, and even Ty says they are just as good as the real thing.

(On the left)



Finally, the big question I get:  my feelings on animals.  I'll be honest with you, I don't think that any cow is going  to be a productive member of society in that they will contribute like a doctor or lawyer.  I'm just sayin'.  It doesn't bother me that animals are killed for food, but it does bother me if it is done in a way that causes suffering.  I am going to leave that subject at that, because everyone has their own personal beliefs and they are entitled to that.  Furthermore, ranching and farming is an integral part of our society and economy.

I don't think that everyone should run out and buy Alicia Silverstone's book (although she was voted Sexiest Vegetarian).  I also don't think that people should follow my word as gospel.  I do think that everyone should THINK about their food at least.  I am not going to get into all of the nasty things that meat and dairy does in your body, because frankly, if you have no interest in being vegan it is just a mean thing to do.  And like I said, those are my beliefs, not necessarily yours.

If I could answer any questions, make suggestions or provide resources for anyone, I would be more than happy to do that!

...if she's anything like me

There is a Brad Paisley song with a line in it about his baby boy that goes as follows:

"It's safe to say that
I'm going to get my payback
If he's anything like me".

Now, from the minute Abrielle was born it was clear that she was NOTHING like me.  While they were intubating and suctioning her after delivery I said to my nurse "I can't even see what she looks like".  Charlene looked down at me and said the words that I would be hearing a lot in the near future:

"She looks like Tyler"

Now, this nurse had known us for all of 4.5 hours at that point (yay for super fast deliveries!) and already she could see the eerie resemblance that my daughter held to her father.  Check this out



Not convinced?



Need more proof?



Look at those goofs.

Anyway, this baby looks nothing like me.  In fact, had I not delivered her I might have a few questions for Tyler as to who the mother was. 

Before she was born, I had a pretty clear picture of how I thought our baby was going to look.  First, I assumed it would be a big, fat boy.  Big blue eyes (well,  I got that right at least!), chubby cheeks, blond hair and a clear mix between Tyler and I.  I was praying she wouldn't get the "Maier nose" that Ty and his sister Amanda escaped (what if it skipped generations?).  Never in a million years did I picture a tiny little  girl with stick-out ears, a very small amount of strawberry blond hair and who looked exactly like her father!  Even Tyler couldn't get over how much she looked like him.

So, Abbers looks nothing like me.  People struggle to find something and often will settle on her eyes, but really, we don't look alike.



That being said, I discover a little piece of me here and there all the time.  For example, she definitely got my monkey limbs and I can already see the struggles she will have finding jackets that fit. 

She sleeps with her arms above her head a lot, which is something I started doing when I was pregnant with her.


She is stubborn, something she DEFINITELY gets from me.  If she wants something and you offer her something different, prepare for her to either swat your hand away, or try to launch herself in the coveted item's direction.

Her mood turns on a dime when she is tired.   This is something she gets straight from me!  She'll be laughing her head off at something and go straight to crying with no transition.  I might be known to have done this once or twice.

She is a snuggler...on her own terms.

She loves potty humour.  Seriously.  Anyone who knows this baby knows that she loves throw up noises, fart noises, etc.  She's gross.  In fact, behind every smile captured on camera there is generally a throw up noise being made behind the camera.



She loves music.  As we sit here, she is humming a little tune while enjoying her breakfast.  When we use to put her in the jolly jumper, she would really get going when pop music was playing.  Especially Katy Perry.

Now, there are a lot of things I would change about my looks, so I don't know why I was so disappointed when she didn't look like me.  Maybe I should have been relieved.  But I think it is probably a primitive instinct to want to find sameness in your offspring.  I guess I just had to wait 6 months to find it!

Abby is who she is and I wouldn't change a thing about this baby.  So, whether she takes after Tyler or me, either way she is pretty great.

Spicy Rice

Another vegan recipe!

I tried something new tonight that I thought I would share.  This dish is super easy to make, is low fat, low sodium and full of protein, calcium and other vitamins.  Oh, and it is delicious!

Spicy Rice

1 cup basmatti rice
1.75 cups of low sodium vegetable boullion OR 1.75 cups water and a low sodium boullion cup
Franks Red Hot Sauce
Siracha (rooster) sauce
12 baby carrots (diced)
0.5 cup frozen corn
1 small yellow onion (diced)
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp Thai seasoning
0.25 cup pumpkin seeds
Olive oil

In a rice cooker (or on the stove top) add rice, stock (or water/boullion cube), about 10 shakes of Franks, and about a tsp of Siracha sauce (do this to taste).  Cook until tender.

In a sauce pan, sautee carrots, onion and corn in olive oil.  Add in garlic powder and Thai seasoning.  I use this one from Epicure (my sister sells it if you need a hook up!)


Add in pumpkin seeds when veggies are almost soft.  Pumpkin seeds are SOOOOO good for you and replace the need for meat in this dish.


Continue cooking over a low heat until veggies are all tender.  Add in cooked rice mixture and allow to marry for 5-10 minutes over low heat.  Enjoy!

I served this with wilted spinach and it was a great meal.



Enjoy!

Good Morning Sunshine

I am not a morning person.  I never have been, and never will be.  There is nothing I loathe more (ok, not true, but in the morning perspective can be a hard thing to grasp) than getting out of bed before I am ready and fully rested.  I love the feeling of waking up gently, in a warm bed with a cool breeze blowing on me and spending a full 5 minutes stretching and burrowing back into the pillow.

Unfortunately, not many people lead a life that is conducive to this, and if they do then they are probably not gainfully employed! 

Before Abrielle was born, I pictured the early mornings starting around 5 or 6 am, full of coffee and sleepy eyes.  I assumed based on the horror stories that most everyone feels the need to tell expectant moms that I would feel tired and thus emotional all the time.  As much as I was looking forward to my baby arriving, I knew I was going to miss my mornings in bed (well, on the weekends and days off at least).

When we got Abby home from the hospital for good (she was 5 days old), Ty and I took 3 hour shifts.  She needed to be nursed and bottled because she was jaundice, so I would nurse her, Ty would bottle her, and the one of us would be "on call" if she woke up before the next mandatory feeding.  So, day 5 and 6 were kind of rough.  Day 7, she didn't wake up until 3am, and then again at 6 am.  Day 8 she decided she would like to sleep through the night, thank you very much.  We were fine with this.  When Ty went back to work, I would even pull her into bed with me and we would doze together until about 11am. 

Lately, our mornings have been starting a little earlier (around 8 am) because bedtime is now earlier (around 8 or 8:30 pm).  I really don't mind getting up in the mornings though.  I love walking into her room and saying good morning to her.  Her little head pops up and she gets so excited that all limbs started moving and thumping in the crib.  Her smile is big enough to fill the room and she hoots like a little owl in joy.  How can you be sorry you got up for that?  I pick her up out of her crib and she gives me a quick snuggle, complains during her diaper change until the diaper is actually off, and then looks at me if as though to say "what's next Mama?".



Sometimes we snuggle in bed for a few minutes, but mostly we get up.  I make her breakfast (toast strips, banana and cheerios) and get her set up in her high chair and make my breakfast (coffee and raisin toast).  Then she sits in her high chair and contemplates what on the tray she would like to shove in her mouth first, all while babbling "yayayayayayaya" or making those little hoots.  That is usually when I work on this blog, check my facebook and email, and generally play around on the internet.  It is basically alone time, together.  It is a nice time of day where we are perfectly happy to be physically close to each other, but doing our own thing.  Every now and then we catch each other's eye and I am treated to another sunny smile.



I love our mornings together, and am really going to miss these lazy days together when I go back to work in September.  I know that there will never be another time like this, especially if we have another baby.  So, for now, I am going to soak in every minute.

Guilt Free Banana Coconut Muffins

I am going to try something a little different and add some recipes to the blog.  Please feel free to comment and let me know if you think I should keep it or take a hike.

I certainly don't claim to be a Red Seal Chef, but I feel as though I can find my way around the kitchen. I am posting these recipes because
1.  I often get asked for them
2.  I hope it will inspire you to incorporate a vegan meal into your diet once or twice a week
3.  It is always nice to have a new idea for supper!

I cook with ingredients that I almost always have in the house and I generally don't follow a recipe or measure ingredients.  That being said, I will try my best to put rough measurements on here!

So, here we go!

Banana Coconut Muffins

Yields 12 large muffins

2-3 ripe bananas
0.5 cup white sugar
1.5 cup apple juice OR water with a few tablespoons of sugar
0.5 cup shredded unsweetened coconut

Mix all of the above ingredients, then add

2 cups flour (I like to use a whole wheat/white blend)
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsps baking powder.
Oats (as much or as little as you want, just make sure the consistency is something like below)

Pour into a well greased muffin tin and bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.   If  you want to do a loaf, allow for at least double the cooking time.



Delicious!  I make these a lot now, and everyone seems to really like them.  they are guilt free because there is very little sugar, no oil and no egg.  They are hearty enough for breakfast or sweet enough for a dessert.  Enjoy!

Food for Thought

As you can see, Abrielle enjoys her food.  She especially loves feeding herself, to the point where she will push my hand away in a cranky way if I try to feed her finger food.  Hence the array of treats she has there.

I was fairly picky growing up when it came to food.  Not terribly so, but there were definitely certain things that I wouldn't eat.  In my early 20's, I gave up refined sugar so that really limited a lot of my food choices.  I don't know how my parents just gritted their teeth and supported me through that.  I remember literally pulling a package from the garbage before dinner so that I could double check the ingredients.

Then one fateful day in  mall, my sister convinced me to have some Kernels caramel corn and that was the end of that!  I became less and less picky (and strangely enough, less and less thin!).  I even started eating foods that I never would have touched before, such as baked potato, eggs, even some pork! 

About a year and a half ago, I decided to give Veganism a go.  I might save my reasons for another post, but regardless, I am still going strong.  So, although I don't feel limited in my food choices, I might be considered "picky" once again.

Now, Tyler is definitely  not a picky eater, but before he met me, his cultural palate was somewhat limited.  There were fruits, vegetables and grains that he had never tried or heard of.  He had never eaten Japanese, Indian or Ethiopian food and claimed he didn't like it.  He preferred more traditional dishes to ethnic ones (unless it was the western version of Chinese food!).  He really has expanded his interests and has indulged me in a few restaurant choices that he really was opposed to.  I remember he complained all the way to Osho's the first time we went for Japanese food, grumbling that they had better not serve him cat.  Flash forward about 6.5 years later and this man has tried raw octopus. 

I really hope that Abbers is more like her Dad than me when it comes to eating.  I get a little stressed out at the thought of going over to a friend's house for dinner in case  they went to special trouble for me and I still can't eat their food.  I am really lucky that my family is really supportive and two of my best friends are vegetarian and practically vegetarian, so they are sensitive to what I can and can't eat. 

As much as I don't want Abby to eat meat or dairy, I am going to give it to her.  I don't want to, but I also don't want to make her food choices for her.  Who knows, maybe in a month I will decide I want to eat meat again?  Probably not though.  I want her to be well rounded in all areas of her life, including her palate. 

That being said, I am hoping to introduce her to meat gently with organic choices and I will alternate it with other great sources of protein that don't come from animals.

Here are some more shots of my piggy pants

A few updates!

I have to be honest, I am feeling a little bit of pressure this morning.  So many people have had a lot of kind words about my writing, but now I feel as though I am drawing a blank.  I feel as though I should be penning some deep, though provoking words that leaves everyone nodding their heads and scratching their proverbial beards.

So, I am going to leave that for today and just post a few updates.

First thing is, I kid you not,, I don't hate my house anymore.  Ever since I wrote that post I am really looking at it with a new appreciation.  We also rearranged the living room and I think that the novelty of that has helped to improve my outlook on our living quarters. Before we had it split into a computer area and TV area, but since we don't even use the desktop we put it away and made it into one big area. Here is the new layout.

View from the entryway



View from the back wall



View from the kitchen



Here is Abby's room.  We didn't know if it was a boy or a girl when we were expecting, and I really didn't want a yellow or green room.  I think they are adorable, but I feel like everyone doing gender neutral goes for jungle animals or Winnie the Pooh.  Just not my style.  This is by far my favourite and the nicest room in the house. I don't have it completely decorated still, but I still love it!

View from the door



View from the closet


View from the window (as you can see, the poor girl has nothing to wear).




Secondly, Easter has come and gone and it was great!  Holidays definitely mean more to me now that I have Abrielle in my life.  That baby was spoiled rotten this past weekend.  Evidence:

Some of the things from my parents...not to mention the bathing suit, t-shirt and book given to her the day before


From her Nana and Grandpa


From us (looking a little skimpy in comparison)



It was too bad we couldn't do the holiday with both sets of family, but it was fun sitting around, eating way too much and catching up.  I hope everyone else had a fantastic holiday weekend too!

The next week will be spent preparing for our trip to Palm Springs and Phoenix.  I can't wait!

And they lived happily ever after

No 7 year itch here!

First things first, happy birthday to my Dad!

To the heart of the post.  7 years ago today, Ty and I went on our fateful first date.  Here is the story of us:

In April 2004 I was 20.  I was working as a pharmacy tech at Shopper's Drug Mart, finishing up my 3rd year of my BSc.Psychology and had big plans of eventually applying to pharmacy in Edmonton or Vancouver.  I was living at home, chose not to drink, and although I had a busy social life I wasn't really into the bar scene.  Because I was concentrating on school and thought I would be moving, I had a self imposed moritoriam on dating at the time and had zero interest in starting a relationship.

My friend Amber convinced me to come out for a last class bash with her and some other friends and I reluctantly agreed.   We started the evening at her place, went to a houseparty, and then went to Spin (which is now Average Joes/Joe's Garage).  When I pulled up (I was driving seeing as I didn't drink), I told them I had forgotten my wallet (true) and as such had no ID and was going to go home.  I really wasn't in the mood to go in with them, but before I knew it, Amber's boyfriend Paul was dragging me through the VIP entrance with him, and we weren't carded.

We hung out for a bit, but Amber must have sensed that I was about to bolt because as I was making my way closer and closer to the exit, she suddenly pulled this tall blonde guy out of the crowd and shouted in my ear above the noise that her friend wanted to dance with me....and took off. 

So, the tall blonde stranger (Ty) and I danced and made as much small talk as possible in a noisy club.  My team (the Flames) and his (the Canucks) were squaring off in the Western Conference finals at the time so chatted about that.  I asked him how he knew Amber (you know, his friend) and quickly learned that she had literally grabbed him out of the crowd, and he didn't know her from Adam.

That bitch.

Now I was really ready to bolt, but suddenly, there was Amber again, telling me we were heading to the Roadhouse (am I dating myself here?) and that I could drive "what was your name again?" and she and the others would go ahead and get in line.  Again, I tried to beg off since I didn't have my wallet, but she helpfully suggested I quickly rip home and get it.

Awesome.

So, there I am with this stranger in my car, thinking about how incredibly stupid  it is to be driving to my home with someone I don't know.  We pull up and I ran in through the garage, grabbed my wallet from the kitchen, and was back out in 2 seconds flat.  To my surprise, I was greated by an empty car, passenger door open.  My first thought? 

Crap, he stole my stereo.

Suddenly, he saunters out from beside the house, and gets back in the car.  After a few minutes of awkward silence he bashfully said that he had to go pee and couldn't hold it, and didn't want to invite himself in.

Ok.....

So, onwards to Roadhouse we went, where I was moderately impressed with him as her offered me his jacket in line.  I was even more impressed when he produced a Roadhouse VIP card and got us through the line in no time.  Now, anyone who spent any sort of time at the Roadhouse is laughing at me right now, but what did I know?  And the Roadhouse was really busy around that time!

We get inside and I instantly locate my friends, and try to dump this guy at the same time.  Not too long later, I was trying to sneak out when Ty caught up with me and asked for my number.  One of my girlfriends quietly convinced me to give it to him, so he collect the first real number I had ever handed out.  Then, the ever helpful Amber suggested that I may as well drive Ty home since I was leaving anyway.

Thanks, Amber.

So, off to his house we go.  A little more small talk as I inwardly seethe at Amber.  We get to his house and he asks me inside to "play pool".

Um, no thanks.  Now, in fairness, there was a pool table in there.

Next thing I know he is leaning over and kissing me, something that I terminated pretty quickly.  I think I wasn't two feet out of the driveway when I was already on the phone with Amber reaming her out.  Unfortunately, she was too drunk and too interested in the McDonald's that she was eating in bed to really care and basically told me to live a little.

Now, on to Tyler's side of the story (what he remembers, he was pretty intoxicated that evening).  His friend Shawn dragged him to Spin (his least favourite club) because his girlfirend at the time worked there. Ty initially refused to go in and wanted to sit in the Jeep, but was eventually dragged in.  He was literally making his first lap when Amber grabbed him and told him that her friend (me) thought that he was cute and wanted to dance with him.

A week later, Ty (with much encouragement from his sister and friend Robin) called me and asked me out.  Since it was my Dad's birthday, I tried to beg off and make an excuse, but before I knew it I had agreed to go to a late show with him.  I figured to myself I would go on one date and that would be that.

When he picked me up that night I didn't even really give him a chance to shut the engine off before I was out the door.  Poor guy had picked me up in the Comet and I think I barely gave it any notice.  We got to the theater and I went to pull a pack of gum out of my purse.  When he noticed that, he instantly insisted that he was going to pay.  Now, before you judge me on my response, please remember that I really had no interest in dating and had nothing to lose here.  My response was "I know, I am just getting some gum".

We watched Starsky and Hutch and afterwards he asked me out for a drink (I didn't drink at the time).  When I told him this, I instantly followed it up with "I'm not Mormon though".  I don't think he believed me.  After all, my last name was Stewart and I was one of 4 siblings.  Ha ha.  So, he dropped me off at home and I was unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out pretty much before the vehicle had come to a stop.  No way was he stealing another kiss from me!

I figured I would never hear from him again, but I did.  Shortly after I went back to PEI for a week, and I told myself that if I was still thinking about him when I got back I would call him.  So I did.

A year and a half later we bought the house and moved in together.

2 years later we were engaged

3 years later we were married

6 years later we had our baby girl.

I would say I owe Amber an apology for reeming her out that night!

Psychological Warfare with Mythical Creatures

Alternately titled:  How I came to learn that the Easter Bunny wasn't real

On Wednesday I went out and bought Abby her first Easter gifts.   What do you get for the baby that has everything (and alternately, what do you get for the baby who can't eat candy?).  Why, a bikini of course!  And a book that makes noise and flashes lights.  Her future husband Tate has one and she was into it last time we were over at The Porter's casa so I thought I would get her one of her own.

Besides, Abby's figure is meant to be shown off.  Look at this girl!



Anyway, I digress.

It is kind of crazy that as children we place blind faith into these mythical creatures.  Why do we do it as parents?  Why do we hype up these holiday emblems only to have our children dissapointed years later?  Don't get me wrong, I am all for it. I think that there is something so special about watching a child get excited for not necessarily gifts, but a nocturnal visit from someone they will never see.

I thought I might catalogue a few of my recollections of my upbringing with the Easter Bunny, Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

Tooth Fairy
I think the best thing about the Tooth Fairy is that by the time you are old enough to realize that it is a crock, your teeth have all fallen out and you have reaped the full monetary benefit of the charade.  That being said, I don't remember anything about realizing that the Tooth Fairy wasn't real.  I DO however remember trying to pull a fast one on her.

After losing one of my teeth, I went to put it under my pillow and it was gone.  We couldn't find it anywhere.  So, my mom told me just to write the tooth fairy a note (so, I was clearly old enough to write when I still believed) and that she would probably understand.  The next day, I had money under my pillow.  Score.

So, a few weeks later, I decided to do the same thing.  I was VERY dissapointed the next morning when I woke up with nothing, but at the same time I was too embarrassed to tell my parents.  Oh well.

Easter Bunny

I really believed in the Easter Bunny.  In my house growing up there were two sets of stairs (one on each side of the house) going into the basement  where my room was.  So, if you were running through a house like a madman, you could just keep doing one continuous loop.  Not that I ever did that.

Anyway, the point of that story is that my parents the Easter Bunny use to leave a trail of treats from each of our rooms all the way to our easter baskets.  That candy was exclusively ours.  It was my belief as a child that the Easter Bunny came and peaked into each of our rooms to ensure that we were asleep before leaving our baskets, but for some reason he had a kangaroo style pouch with a hole in it...thus the candy trails.  In front of our baskets would be one of those hollow chocolate eggs (I'll come back to this) and then there would be a candy hunt, where it was a free for all among us 4 kids.  Mike wasn't really big on candy, so he was pretty easy to make unfair candy swaps with.

One year, I distinctly remember just taking a blind shot in the dark and telling my father that I didn't believe that the Easter Bunny was real.  I didn't really think that; I don't even know why I would have said it.  My Dad (very quickly) responded that only people who believed in the Easter Bunny got treats.  SOLD

Back to those hollow eggs.  Later on in my childhood years, it was those eggs that kept me believing in the Easter Bunny.  Sure, I had seen them in stores, but how did our names get on them?  I believe it was my friend Katie who spilled that they had stands set up where they would personalize them.

Guess what though?  I still get easter presents.  So maybe you don't have to believe in the bunny after all.

Santa

Ah, the big one.  The man in red.  The character that everyone adores although all signs point to it being more prudent to be terrified of him (omnipotence, nocturnal visits, elves...come on).  I believed in Santa until I was 10 years old. I am sure that is almost unheard of now.  Here are a few stories about Santa.

Every year, we would write letters to Santa, and Santa would generally send one back in the mail, but also leave one next to the milk and cookies (or sometimes diet coke and cookies) that we left for him.  My parents were very clever with these letters, using things like christmas trees as exclamation marks. 

The two times I set about to test if Santa was real or not were both dismal failures.  The first was when I wrote a letter asking for a dog.  I sealed it in an envelope before my parents could see it and insisted on mailing it myself.  I think eventually my dad talked me out of that and was able to (as Santa) provide a reasonable explanation for why I couldn't have one.

The second was a little more high-tech.  Very politely and casually, in my letter to Santa one year I requested pictures of the following:  The workshop, Mrs. Clause, The Elves and the Reindeer.  Once again, denied with a reasonable explanation.

This time I am SURE it was my friend Katie who told me Santa wasn't real.  I brought in the letter that I had gotten from Santa (i.e: the post office worker posing as Santa) and proudly showed it off.  In my grade 5 classroom....yeah, I had this one coming.  Anyway, Katie set me straight and that was the end of that.

So, that was my coming of age with all of the childhood myths.  AND look, I survived and am relatively normal!

Regardless of whether or not (Tooth Fairy aside) you celebrate holidays for the true religious reasons, or for the commercial reasons, I think the important thing about holidays in that they are foundational to childhood memories.  I am absolutely going to use every holiday I can to try to pass on and lay down tradition to my family. 

And use it as an excuse to buy my baby a bikini.

Family Ties, Part 2.

Time for the Ladies!

Before I start in on the awesome ladies in my life, I wanted to say thank you for all of the positive feedback I have gotten surrounding this blog.  When I first started it, I didn't think many people would be reading it and I have now had over 225 people visit my page...in 3 days!  Crazy times!

So, here we go with post #4

The Matriarch

My mom is definitely the driving force in the Stewart household.  I tend to use the word "Mom" as shorthand for "Mom and Dad".  As in, I am going to Mom's house.  Or, my Mom gave me this for Christmas.  She loves having her family around her and is known to collect a few strays around the holidays as well.  Every Sunday we have family dinner at Mom and Dad's house, and since our family is growing (12 strong!) the table has grown too.  She actually ordered a table that has 4 leaves in it so that she can fit everyone around one big table.  Anyone in my family knows the story of the headaches surrounding getting that table, but I will leave that for another day!

My mom is definitely a Mama Hen and is fiercely protective of her kids.  DON'T cross her!  That being said she is also a very liberal person and instilled in me that everyone gets loved and respected equally, regardless of race, creed or sexual orientation.  I am very grateful that I grew up with this as a moral compass, and this is something that I will be passing along to my daughter.

My mom loves old movies and has been found on more than one occasion enjoying one with her eyes closed on the couch, snoring.  It never fails though, when you try to wake her that she either denies sleeping or insists that she knows she is sleeping...before promptly falling back to sleep!

Another thing typical of my mom is that she is a great repeater of stories....especially ones involving Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul.  If my brother James is reading this right now I know he is nodding his head.  We called her on it one night and she threatened to cut us out of the will.

Mom is a great support system.  There has never been anything that I have gone to her with that she has judged me or told me not to do.  Somehow she has this special way of showing me the other side of the story without telling me what to do. She always tells me that she loves me, and she always gives me a hug and a kiss goodbye (even though we really don't go more than a few days without seeing each other).

I couldn't talk about my Mom without mentioning her as a grandmother.  She has had 9 years and now 4 grandkids under her belt, and she still tells me that she was completely unprepared that she would love her grandchildren as much as her children.  She spoils them all like crazy and keeps a candy drawer that the kids (ok, and the big kids) dip into on a weekly basis.  She goes to every recital, swim meet, swimming lesson, and concert that they have.  She is completely devoted and I know that my baby and my nieces and nephew are so lucky to have her as a role model in their lives.

Here's my mama!  Notice that she is wearing jewellery my niece made for her.


Sara

My big sissy.  Sara and I, probably like most sisters, were close when we were really young and then drifted in our teen years.  It was really only after Bailey was born (9 years ago) that we reconnected, and now she is one of my best friends.

Sara is a superwoman.  Plain and simple, there is no way at all that she should be able to do everything she does and still look as good as she does!  She is a full time student, has a home business (anyone need epicure?), raises three incredibly well behaved and well rounded kids, takes care of herself by going to exercise classes, bakes her own bread by hand...should I go on, or are you feeling bad enough about yourself yet?  Her house is always clean and she just has it together.  I really admire her and wish that I was more like her.

Sara is someone who I can tell anything to, and although she always supports me, she never sugar coats it if she thinks that I am being an idiot or am wrong.   She and I have shared many a lunch and story and she is my best person to abbreviate words with. 

Sara is really a brave person.  She is willing to stand up for herself or anyone else if the situation calls for it, and I really admire how she cares less about being liked than she does about ensuring that things are right.  If I could be half the woman my sister is, I would be a lucky lady!

Me and my sissy



Bailey

Bailey is my eldest niece, and she is just the sweetest thing in the world.  She is the first to give you a hug or make you a get well card.  She is really sensitive and has retained the innocence that a lot of kids her age are starting to lose at a rapid pace.  She is incredibly patient, especially with her siblings and is an awesome big sister.

Bailey loves everything.  She loves crafts, hiking, sports, dance, theater, music, reading, etc.  The list could go on and on!  To top things off, she is really good at most things she tries her hand at.

I can't wait to see what kind of teenager and adult Bailey is going to grow into.

Here she is!


Ryann

Ryann...oh Ryann.  My sister's middle child, she is very different from her sister.  She is no stretch of the imagination bad, but she is mischievious.  She once told me that she hit her sister because Bailey said she didn't love  her anymore (this turned out to be a bold face lie!).  She is the wild one with the red hair to match, and she is so much fun to be around.

My favourite story of Ryann is when she was on a "Jesus" kick.  My sis was trying to break her of saying it (as in, Oh Jesus!  It's so bad!).  She was running around at my parent's house and suddenly she exclaimed (while still running) "I just have to say it!  Oh Jesus!  Oh Jesus!"

That's Ryann!  I  had to put in both these pictures of her.


Terri

My mother in law lives right next door to me, which most people would consider a nightmare.   I personally think it is awesome.  She loves to have fun but is still a mom through and through (including knowing when to make extras of dinner because she has a feeling Ty will be raiding her fridge).

She is a great shopper and always gets the best deals...although she is exhausting to shop with because there is a reason why she gets the best deals:  She pours over every item on a rack!  She has been known to mess up the pronounciation of a few words (LEE Chateaux..ha ha!) but can laugh at herself.

She is a wonderful "Nana" and is always willing to take our little bumblebee at a moment's notice.  She can often be found sitting crosslegged on the floor with Abrielle playing toys.  Abby is so lucky to live so close to her grandparents.  It is really neat knowing that a lot of her memories will be over there.



Amanda

When I first met my (at the time, future) sister in law, she and her father were in a major screaming match.  When she was younger, Amanda was someone you did NOT want to mess with.  She packed a lot of piss and vinegar into a tiny package!

Now, I consider her to just be my sister, not sister in law.  She is so much fun to hang around, and is such a good person.  She is the only one that lived close to her grandparents when Grandpa was in the hospital, so she visited every day, did his laundry, brought him coffee and kept him company before he passed away.  Not only that, but she drove Grandma to all of her appointments, got her hair done for her, and brought her to see Grandpa while he was in the hospital.  Do you know a lot of 24 year olds who would do that?

She has such a soft heart.  She is a great Auntie to Abby and is so natural with her, even though she really had no experience with babies.  And Abby loves her (and her long hair!).  She also rescued her dog Scruffy from the golf course where the poor dog was living and brought her home. 

Amanda was only 17 when I met her and I feel as though I have watched her grow into such an amazing woman. 




Abrielle

Of course I can't end this without mentioning my little bumblebee!  I'll just forwarn that this last entry is pretty much a mother gushing, so please feel free to skip over it!

My baby girl is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Ty and I knew that we wanted to have kids ever since we were dating, and we tried on and off for a little while before we got pregnant for the first time.  When we lost that baby, my sister passed along advice that she had gotten:  If you hadn't lost that baby, you would never have the next one.

I think of that quite frequently.  Imagine, I would never have my sweet little girl if I hadn't miscarried that first baby.  Knowing that almost erases the pain of that loss.  This little girl has changed my life in so many ways.

Abby is almost 7 months old now (when they say time flies with a baby, they mean it!) and I still tear up on a daily basis because I get overwhelmed by how much I love her.  I love everything about her!  She is such a happy baby, loves to babble, never sits still and is just such a joy.  One of the best feelings in the world is when I trudge into her room in the morning, with my hair looking like the Bride of Frankenstein's, breath horrible, makeup under my eyes and generally looking scary.  Without fail, she gazes up at me from her crib and breaks into a huge gummy smile, and she seems to have nothing but pure adoration and love for me.  Now that is unconditional love!

I can't possibly list all of my favourite things about her.  I love how she grabs my face with both hands and plants a sloppy french kiss on me.  I love her giggles.  I love how her hands and feet are constantly in motion.  I love how she pets her dogs.  I love how she throws herself around in her office (exersaucer) as though she feels so happy she can't physically contain it.

I don't feel as though my life changed when I had a baby.  I feel as though it just got better.  Everything that they say happens when you have a baby didn't. 

I now get probably double the sleep I got before I had her

My marriage is stronger than it ever was

My social life is busier than it ever was before

My house is the cleanest it has ever been (ok, it is still not really all that clean, but if you knew what it looked like before you would probably give me a standing ovation).

I am closer to my parents and inlaws.

She has made everything better in a life that I had already considered to be pretty great.  Having Abrielle in my life is like waking up every morning and realizing that I won the lottery.

So, can we talk about how lucky I am to have all of these great people in my family?  Do we squabble or disagree sometimes?  Absolutely!  That being said, I am one of the most fortunate people in the world to have two sets of family who I can depend upon wholeheartedly.

Family Ties, Part 1.

The men in my life

My brother Mike was home from Vancouver for a few days, and as you know if you have met him, he is awesome.  I got to thinking how lucky I am that I not only love, but I genuinely like all the members of my family (both blood and inlaw!).

As such, I am dedicating my next two posts to my family.

The Patriarch

My Dad.  How does one begin to describe him?  Lover of exotic meats and cheeses and foreign grocery stores.  My Mom says that they can't afford to retire because of his spice buying habit.  He is an amazing cook and never once complains about having to cater to a vegan and a vegetarian every Sunday night, even though he is a pure meat and potatoes man.

He is super smart (he has his PhD) but has no memory for a lot of things which is an endless source of teasing from our family.  Running jokes include having him identify his 4 children by name, and pronounce or spell Maier (which he can do now, thankfully!).

He loves to torture car salesmen, and gets up REALLY early every morning and sits in the dark like a creep drinking coffee.  He caught me sneaking in late more than once because of this!

He is a devil's advocate, which can be frustrating, but this is something I see in myself that I have inherited from him.  He is incredibly generous and giving, although he pretends to be cheap and blame it on his Scottish roots.

He is such a tender heart with his grandkids.  He plays the same games with them that I remember him playing with us (such as horsey ride, magic tricks-which I totally get now by the way!, tickle your ribs, do I need a shave, etc).  He STILL gets down on his hands and knees to play horsey with the kids.

Dad's a memory maker, and an amazing man.





Mike

Mike's claim to fame is that he was a hellian as a child, causing chaos throughout our home and community from the time he could toddle.  You would NEVER guess this as an adult.

Mike is probably the most generous soul you will ever meet.  He is constantly putting others before himself and always goes the extra mile to ensure that everyone is happy.

Mike is a great source of entertainment in our family as well because he can be a bit of a trainwreck at times.  Famous stories include him getting cut at a bar downtown and walking back to my parent's house (at least an hour away) so drunk that he was still bleeding when he got home.  Enough so that he left blood all over the siding of the house.

He constantly loses phones and debit cards and keys, and this usually involves alcohol related times.

Speaking of which, another great story about Mike is the last time we were in Palm Springs, he decided to mix himself a giant drink in an ice cream pail (that involved about 20 oz of spiced rum and 3 oz of Coke) and drink it...in the pool....with a giant spoon.

Classic Mike.

Mike is carrying on the family tradition of getting at least two University degrees, so he is still in Vancouver and we miss him a lot.  He is so devoted to his family and especially his nieces and nephews.   Goofy as he is, we love Mikey to pieces!



James

James grew up as Jamie and I have a hard time calling him anything but, although I do respect that he wants to be called James now.  James is the youngest of the 4 kids and he got pretty much all of the creativity in the family.

Jamie is INCREDIBLY talented.  I cannot highlight that enough!  He plays electric and accoustic guitar as well as bass.  He has been in numerous bands and has toured all over North America.  Watching him play is something amazing, and I wish I could do it more often.

He is also wickedly funny.  No one makes me laugh more than he does.  He just has a quick, dry wit and observationalist humor.  He also does some pretty funny voices.  To see how funny he is, follow him on twitter (@biodomerulez).

Jamie and I have always kind of been partners in crime.  There were a few years were he kind of took a step back from the family and we did likewise, but things are back on track.  He has introduced me to so many great movies and directors and even better Youtube clips (see here for a new fave http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M)

  (Pictured right)
BIL

For privacy purposes,I am not going to uses my brother-in-law's name or picture, so I will call him BIL. Get it?  Ha ha.

BIL has been in my life for almost ten years now.  He is an east coast boy and is so much fun.  One of my fondest memories of him is sitting at the old Tank House, watching him with a pool cue do his impression of Axel Rose.  And may I say, it was bang on.

BIL is a great guy.  He is a great dad to his three kids and really highlights what is special and unique with each one of them.  He has a busy work schedule, but he is very hands on.  He is giving and generous and has bailed me out of more than a few jams since I have known him!

Even before he and my sister got married, I considered BIL to be my brother in law, but now I just consider him my brother.  He is smart, funny and caring and an all around amazing guy!

Logan

Also known as Ogie, Ogie man, Ogre, and Ogie Monster.  My sister's youngest is the most handsome little boy you will ever meet.  He is sweet, with a little touch of, well, boy!  He loves all things Dino and Toy Story, plays imagination games that I sometimes don't understand, is really starting to talk a lot.  He is stubborn as a stone, but a really sweet and fun little boy.  He adores his cousin "Baby Abby" and loves his sisters (well, sometimes he loves to rough up his sisters, but what can you do?).  Look at this handsome baby!



Stan

Simply put, Stan scared the bejeezus out of me when I first met him.  My father in law is a very LOUD person and that takes some getting use to!

Now that I have had 7 years to get to know him, I can see past that booming voice to the soft side of him.  Stan is such a smitten Grandpa.  He went from "it's going to be a boy" to "where is my little girl?"  He swore he would never call Abby by her full name Abrielle, and now I think he is the one that uses it the most.  He complained that Terri (my mother in law) would be spending all of their money spoiling the baby, yet he buys her things like a $40 sleeper from a golf pro shop.  To watch Stan with Abby is enough to bring tears to my eyes almost every time.  That is true love you see!

Stan is so talented.  He is an incredible house painter and has done so many cool designs in his house.  He is very meticulous and you know if he is involved in any sort of job, it is going to be done right. 

Stan is also a creature of habit.  You know that if it is nice out and he isn't golfing or putzing in the back yard, he can be found in the garage ready to have a beer with whoever stops by.  He cheers for the Bears, and the Islanders (it is good that they have one fan at least) and is unwaivering in his team allegiance.  He goes to the Duke pretty much every Thursday, and before an early bed every night he has peanut butter sandwiches. 

Stan is always up for a game of pool or darts in his basement, and always dependable.  He is such a great guy.



Bo

Of course I had to mention my poochies!  They are members of the family too!

Bo, christened Bowen (after Bowen Island Lager) also goes by Bozo, Bobo, Bonehead, Boceifus, etc.  He is huge and a huge baby.  He is a crier and whiner, and loves to be sitting on someone's lap.  Unfortunately since he is about 130 lbs, that doesn't happen!

He loves fetch and refuses to quit, so much like the movie Spanglish, no one is allowed to throw a ball for him.  He has a licking problem so severe we think he needs an Intervention with Candy Finnegan.

He is almost 7 years old and he is the sweetest thing ever.  As much as he drives me crazy, I love him to bits!

  Look at that handsome knucklehead!

Chevy

Chevy is named after the vehicle brand, and also goes by Chev, Chev-chev, Chevron, and His Royal Highness Princess Chevina (as bestowed upon him by my brother James).  Chevy is a rescue from a dump on a reservation, and now that he is 3.5 years old, the "i'm so damaged" act is getting a little old!  Chevy is a the biggest scaredy cat, yet doesn't hesitate to bark at anything and everything that comes his way.  He takes things from Bo, not because he wants them, but just so Bo can't have it.  He is a bit of a dick.

That being said, he is a really sweet dog, and he is my puppy.  He is so sweet around people that he knows and especially loves Abby, tail grabbing and all.
 Being bad as always



Tyler

No, I didn't forget about my husband, I was just saving the best for last!  I figured that this might be the longest entry.

My husband...where do I even begin?  There are so many great qualities that make him who he is.

First off, Ty is pretty shy.  He doesn't like being the one to ask a question in an airport or order a pizza on the phone.  He has definitely lost a lot of this shyness since we first met, but some definitely still remains.

He is a great friend.  A lot of the people he knows are friends from childhood, both girls and boys.  I would say 90% of my girl friends hug him every time they see him.  He is the first person there to help someone move, tow them out of a jam, or to help them drink their beer and watch hockey.   He is really loyal and values his friendships.  Although we were strangers when we first started dating, he quickly became my best friend.

He is an amazing communicator.  Ty and I very rarely fight, and if we are being snippy at each other, he is generally the first to acknowledge it and try to make amends.  He is a firm believer in not going to bed angry, and is a fantastic listener.  The line from the song Bleed Red by Rodney Dunn makes me think of him, when it goes "if we're both fighting, then we're both losing".  So true.

He is dedicated.  This applies to so many areas in his life.  He is very devoted to his family, and although he picks on her constantly, he is very protective of Amanda, his younger sister.  He is a devoted Canucks fan and gets really cranky if people beak them.  He loves golf and spends the time he is not on the links complaining that he should be on the links. He is an amazing defensemen, and I love watching him play hockey.

He is easy going.  Ty lets most things roll off of his back like water.  There were a few days where I felt like I was being snippy at him, and I acknowledged it.  To this he replied "yeah, you were, but that's ok.  I understand".  He didn't use it against me or turn it around on me and start a fight, he just chose to let it go.  He does this time and time again.  Ty genuinely wants to make people happy and there is a very rare occassion where he insists he has to get his way.

He is a fantastic father.  I always knew that Ty would be a great dad, because he was so good with my sister's kids.  What I didn't know was how great of Dad he would be.  From the very second Abby was in his arms, he was not only a father, but a confident and devoted Dad.  He changes diapers, he sings silly songs, he dresses her up in Canuck's jerseys, he plays toys.  Abby is so lucky to have a man like him in her life.  It is a real juxtaposition to see such a big man wrapped around the finger of such a teeny little girl, but it melts my heart over and over every time.

He is an incredible husband.  I can't put into words how lucky I am.  Tyler sacrificed a lot during our marriage so that he could support me through 2 degrees.  He didn't ever once tell me not to go for my second degree, even though he knew it would mean another 4 years of financial hardship.  He knows me better than I know myself and claims to be a great reader of my body language...which is true.  He has held me and stroked my hair through many rough times, and tells me he loves me countless times a day.  He has been there with me through the very worst and the very best and I fall more and more in love with him every day.

Here is us together at 21 and today