Dear Gym,
I miss you. I really miss you. I know I took a week off because I was sick and couldn't breathe. I know after that I took a week off because I was being lazy. Then I took another week off because my membership needed to be renewed and I was going away for two weeks and thought that would be a waste (I know, I know, another excuse). And now, look at us. I really want to be with you, but I can't! I'm just not ready to go back. My back is still in less than optimal shape, and I currently can't take more than two steps without becoming out of breath and feeling like I have fire in my chest due to this lovely chest cold I have adopted.
I love that you accept me and my friends in with open arms, and make us feel like a team. You help us push and support each other in ways that bring us closer. I like how you give me a sense of accomplishment. When I am away from you, I feel awful. I don't eat as well as I normally do. I don't feel good in my own skin. I have bad days where I feel so awful about my body that I don't want to hang out in social situations. You do good things for me, dear gym, and I appreciate that.
I'll be back soon, I promise. I love how you make me feel. I love how, no matter how unmotivated I feel when I come see you I can still dig down enough to get something out of our little rendezvous. You love me for who I am. I usually come to you looking less than beautiful, and leave looking even worse and you still give me a cute little slap on the bum that lets me know you had a good time too.
Until we meet again, please don't be mad. I know I am going for walks outside, and that is so that I can get some strength back so that our first reunion isn't terrible. I might even visit another so I can spend some time in the pool (yours is closed, what am I to do?). You'll be on my mind though. Believe me, I think about you every day. I love you, I miss you, and I will see you soon.
Love,
Katie
Tuesday 31 May 2011
Monday 30 May 2011
On PDAs
No, not the Blackberry type
A few nights ago we were hanging out with a big group of people, and there was a couple who spent the entire night glue to the hip, and often to the lip. It got me thinking about...well...my thoughts on PDA. I will say, this was a group of people who all knew each other, so it isn't like these two were sitting in a restaurant groping at each other.
Ok, my thoughts. I think that when people are constantly sitting on each other, holding hands and kissing/full on making out in public that it is sweet that they feel so in love that they don't care who sees it. A part of me also sees it as an insecurity in the relationship too. It is as though they have to communicate frantically look at us! Look how in love we are! See? We're kissing! We must be so in love!
I'm not going to sit here and pretend that Tyler and I have never gotten people's gag reflexes going, nor am I the type of person who would sit there with a disgusted look on my face while two people call each other their "little snuggum-wuggums". I just think it is a little strange at our age, a ripe old 27 and older, that people are still feeling the need to have a lot of PDA in their life.
I think it is natural to compare your relationship to other people's. Personally, I feel that my husband and I have a rock solid relationship. We love each other to bits, we're best friends, and somehow after 7 years and 1 baby, we have managed to keep a passion for each other that has only grown stronger. My parent's read this blog...I'm not going into any more detail than that!
In my mind, it is about how you feel in the relationship, and not what other people think. That being said, it is really nice that to this day, I still get tons of comments from people about how they feel that Ty and I have a really special relationship and are a great couple. We still get the "You guys are so cute!" and I always get told how lucky I am to have a guy as great as Tyler is. And I have to admit, he is pretty great.
This despite the fact that when we go out with a group of friends, we generally divide and conquer. Even at our own wedding, we split up and at one point didn't even see each other for about an hour as we visited and chatted with our 400 guests. This isn't to say that we can't stand to be together; I think it is just that we are secure enough in our relationship that we value our time with friends enough to spend that time apart a bit. And let's be honest, how nice is it when your husband comes up to you at a crowded party just to give you a kiss and say hello?
Furthermore, I think it is incredibly important to have time apart from each other. I would not be married to Tyler if he didn't ever have nights out with the guys, or if I couldn't go out with just the girls. I think it is vital to a relationship to spend a little time apart, be able to talk about each other and miss each other. We are lucky that we are in a relationship where we both trust each other 100%, and never worry that the other might be getting up to something that he or she shouldn't. And strangely enough, after a night out apart, we generally find that we want to spend even more time together.
So, back to PDAs. I say if it feels right, go for it. But for me, I am more comfortable and feel a lot more special being able to feel my husband's love radiating from across a crowded room.
A few nights ago we were hanging out with a big group of people, and there was a couple who spent the entire night glue to the hip, and often to the lip. It got me thinking about...well...my thoughts on PDA. I will say, this was a group of people who all knew each other, so it isn't like these two were sitting in a restaurant groping at each other.
Ok, my thoughts. I think that when people are constantly sitting on each other, holding hands and kissing/full on making out in public that it is sweet that they feel so in love that they don't care who sees it. A part of me also sees it as an insecurity in the relationship too. It is as though they have to communicate frantically look at us! Look how in love we are! See? We're kissing! We must be so in love!
I'm not going to sit here and pretend that Tyler and I have never gotten people's gag reflexes going, nor am I the type of person who would sit there with a disgusted look on my face while two people call each other their "little snuggum-wuggums". I just think it is a little strange at our age, a ripe old 27 and older, that people are still feeling the need to have a lot of PDA in their life.
I think it is natural to compare your relationship to other people's. Personally, I feel that my husband and I have a rock solid relationship. We love each other to bits, we're best friends, and somehow after 7 years and 1 baby, we have managed to keep a passion for each other that has only grown stronger. My parent's read this blog...I'm not going into any more detail than that!
In my mind, it is about how you feel in the relationship, and not what other people think. That being said, it is really nice that to this day, I still get tons of comments from people about how they feel that Ty and I have a really special relationship and are a great couple. We still get the "You guys are so cute!" and I always get told how lucky I am to have a guy as great as Tyler is. And I have to admit, he is pretty great.
This despite the fact that when we go out with a group of friends, we generally divide and conquer. Even at our own wedding, we split up and at one point didn't even see each other for about an hour as we visited and chatted with our 400 guests. This isn't to say that we can't stand to be together; I think it is just that we are secure enough in our relationship that we value our time with friends enough to spend that time apart a bit. And let's be honest, how nice is it when your husband comes up to you at a crowded party just to give you a kiss and say hello?
Furthermore, I think it is incredibly important to have time apart from each other. I would not be married to Tyler if he didn't ever have nights out with the guys, or if I couldn't go out with just the girls. I think it is vital to a relationship to spend a little time apart, be able to talk about each other and miss each other. We are lucky that we are in a relationship where we both trust each other 100%, and never worry that the other might be getting up to something that he or she shouldn't. And strangely enough, after a night out apart, we generally find that we want to spend even more time together.
So, back to PDAs. I say if it feels right, go for it. But for me, I am more comfortable and feel a lot more special being able to feel my husband's love radiating from across a crowded room.
Sunday 29 May 2011
Little Miss Personality
**I have some less than happy things happening in my life right now, and although I would love to post about them, and how I feel about them, they concern someone else who is very private. So, as such, I am only going to post about the happy things going on right now. If that person is reading this, please know that you are on my mind all of the time, and my heart aches for you. I want you to feel free, and happy and ready to take on the world, and I will do whatever I can to help make that possible. Love you.
Tyler and I were planning a family day yesterday and some things came up, so we pushed it off to today. After going to visit someone, we went out and had a delicious lunch, and then went out and about to drink slurpees, look at vehicles, get dog food, and do a bit of a snooze cruise for Abby since we were all over the place today.
While I was waiting for Ty to run into a store to grab some sunflower seeds, I just randomly looked at a video on his phone (disclaimer: I do not snoop through my husband's private things, such as text messages on his phone!). It was of Abby, and I think she was probably about 2 months old when it was taken. Ty was video-ing her in her swing and trying to coax her to smile, clucking at her and asking her to smile for Daddy. The whole video is basically of her staring somberly at the camera with these huge blue eyes, and then suddenly she breaks into a HUGE, split second grin.
Love.
After watching it, I turned to Ty and said "I kind of forgot that she didn't always have such a big personality".
And it's true! Abby is larger than life right now. She shrieks, she babbles, she giggles, she grabs you and pulls you close. She bounces, rocks, rolls and boogies. She flashes megawatt smiles to strangers and family equally. I get comments all the time from perfect strangers just passing by about how cute she is. (I know, I am a bragging mother, but they are the ones who say it! Seriously, not a day goes by when she doesn't elicit a comment). She is just this force of nature who is so much fun to be around.
Just this morning, Ty brought her back into bed around 9 am for a feed (my day to sleep in, yay!) and after nursing, she burrowed her little head into my chest, curled her little fingers around my shirt and started softly snoring. Too precious. Even better, when she woke up she quietly looked up at me with those same big blue eyes from that video taken about 6 months ago and just gazed. I swear my heart was a giant puddle. Then, naturally, she rolled over and sat up and gave her sleeping father an enormous smile. When she got nothing back, she gently leaned over and patted his hand as though she was saying "Dada, wake up!".
She is so much fun now, I can't even imagine how great she is going to be in the months and years to come. Happy 8 month birthday my little bumblebee! I love you more and more every day.
Tyler and I were planning a family day yesterday and some things came up, so we pushed it off to today. After going to visit someone, we went out and had a delicious lunch, and then went out and about to drink slurpees, look at vehicles, get dog food, and do a bit of a snooze cruise for Abby since we were all over the place today.
While I was waiting for Ty to run into a store to grab some sunflower seeds, I just randomly looked at a video on his phone (disclaimer: I do not snoop through my husband's private things, such as text messages on his phone!). It was of Abby, and I think she was probably about 2 months old when it was taken. Ty was video-ing her in her swing and trying to coax her to smile, clucking at her and asking her to smile for Daddy. The whole video is basically of her staring somberly at the camera with these huge blue eyes, and then suddenly she breaks into a HUGE, split second grin.
Love.
After watching it, I turned to Ty and said "I kind of forgot that she didn't always have such a big personality".
And it's true! Abby is larger than life right now. She shrieks, she babbles, she giggles, she grabs you and pulls you close. She bounces, rocks, rolls and boogies. She flashes megawatt smiles to strangers and family equally. I get comments all the time from perfect strangers just passing by about how cute she is. (I know, I am a bragging mother, but they are the ones who say it! Seriously, not a day goes by when she doesn't elicit a comment). She is just this force of nature who is so much fun to be around.
Just this morning, Ty brought her back into bed around 9 am for a feed (my day to sleep in, yay!) and after nursing, she burrowed her little head into my chest, curled her little fingers around my shirt and started softly snoring. Too precious. Even better, when she woke up she quietly looked up at me with those same big blue eyes from that video taken about 6 months ago and just gazed. I swear my heart was a giant puddle. Then, naturally, she rolled over and sat up and gave her sleeping father an enormous smile. When she got nothing back, she gently leaned over and patted his hand as though she was saying "Dada, wake up!".
She is so much fun now, I can't even imagine how great she is going to be in the months and years to come. Happy 8 month birthday my little bumblebee! I love you more and more every day.
Friday 27 May 2011
Why I Love Being an Auntie
I took this video yesterday and wish I had kept filming a little longer to really highlight how Ryann gets right in Abby's face and talks to her. Abby just eats it up, and it is too funny watching Ryann parrot us in that silly little voice that adults always use when talking to a baby. This video is of Ryann trying to teach Abby to crawl.
What can I say, my sister has freakin' cute kids!
What can I say, my sister has freakin' cute kids!
The Best Friends in the World
Yesterday I read Kelle Hampton's blog "Enjoying the Small Things" (linked here:http://www.kellehampton.com/ ) and she posted a sentence along the lines of "it is a special thing to watch your friends loving your babies". How true it is.
Tyler and I announced our pregnancy officially at 12 weeks in. Some friends knew before, mainly because we were going to Mexico and they probably would have figured it out pretty quickly since I didn't have my "I'm going to drive" excuse as to why I wasn't drinking. We told other friends around 10 weeks, just because we were so darn excited.
From that minute on, "Baby Maier" was highly anticipated and often discussed subject. I received many belly rubs, speculations on gender, and there was even a pretty fierce baby bet going on by the end of it as to the birthday, gender and weight (thanks Crystal!). I received many facebook messages and texts promising an extra cut if I could encourage Baby Maier to make her appearance starting about 2 weeks before my due date. My friends never made me feel left out when I couldn't do something with them, and would even modify activities so that I could definitely play or participate.
I assumed that once the baby was actually here a lot of that excitement would eventually wear off and the promises to babysit anytime would fade away in the background. I was prepared that most people don't want a newborn showing up at a get together. I understood that I probably wasn't going to get to see my friends as much as I use to.
I started to wonder if I was wrong when we were in the hospital. We had lots of people come by to visit in the maternity ward of course, and Abby received hundreds of cuddles and kisses (not to mention gifts!). It was really when we moved up to pediatrics that I started appreciating that my friends might actually be serious. We had so many people come to keep us company.
My sister was kind enough to bring all three kids in on numerous occasions so that we could all visit, brought coffees and bagels, and offered us time off from the unit even though that meant she had to leave her own brood at home.
Cheyenne visited on so many lunch breaks and before and after so many shifts. I am sure the last thing anyone wants to do is go to work an hour early, or stay late, but there she was faithfully!
My parents were in all the time, bringing flowers, lunches, treats and gifts. My mom even sent us out to dinner and stayed with Abby when she had to have her IV initiated, because I knew I would be too emotional to watch my tiny little babe be poked.
Rachel was in so many times, and sat with us for hours on our last day there as we waited for Abby's last Bili test to be done. Honestly, had she not been there that day, I think we would have gone crazy waiting. She just patiently sat there, cuddling and loving out baby and even bottling her the formula top up that she needed.
There are so many people who came and supported us, and it just hasn't changed. I don't know why I am still surprised, but I am. My friends genuinely love my baby and want to spend time with her. She even gets invitations to things like Kaley's bridal shower! It is just such an amazing thing to watch someone unrelated to her want to hold her, cuddle her, and be with her. I have friends who take her when she is cranky in a restaurant and tell me to deal with it (Ashley, I am talking about you!). Friends who bottled her countless bottles at shopping malls, hockey rinks, restaurants and coffee shops (Carman, Cheyenne, Niki, Kaella...sound familiar?). Friends who send me messages that say something like "I miss Abby! We need to visit soon!" (Kaella, Rachel!). Friends who spoil her like crazy with random little gifts that just leave me floored that they thought of her (Carman, KAELLA). Friends who always make a point of telling me to bring Abby with me so that I don't feel like I am dragging her along (Alex, Kaley, Kirby). Friends who travel hours and hours to come visit and are perfectly happy to just sit at home rather than go out (Shan). Friends who cuddle her even though their baby is there too (Brett, Kim, TerriJo). I even had a Mom at swimming lessons this week who wanted to hold her while I got changed rather than me put her in her carseat. I could go on and on and name so many more names, but this would end up being the longest paragraph in the history of blogs.
Abrielle serving as our Pebbles in the Flintstones motif
I believe Ash said "Does this bother you watching her cry?"
and when I replied yes, she said "too bad".
I am pretty sure every time my sister sees
Abby she tells her that she missed her and
calls her pretty...and tells her she has Ewok
or Wombat ears.
The point is, I lost a total of 0 friends and have been limited in nothing since Abby was born. All of my friends have stuck around, kept their words and have warmed my heart over and over again with all the love, care and kisses that they treat my daughter too. We are both spoiled beyond belief, and I am so grateful for the people in my life!
Tyler and I announced our pregnancy officially at 12 weeks in. Some friends knew before, mainly because we were going to Mexico and they probably would have figured it out pretty quickly since I didn't have my "I'm going to drive" excuse as to why I wasn't drinking. We told other friends around 10 weeks, just because we were so darn excited.
From that minute on, "Baby Maier" was highly anticipated and often discussed subject. I received many belly rubs, speculations on gender, and there was even a pretty fierce baby bet going on by the end of it as to the birthday, gender and weight (thanks Crystal!). I received many facebook messages and texts promising an extra cut if I could encourage Baby Maier to make her appearance starting about 2 weeks before my due date. My friends never made me feel left out when I couldn't do something with them, and would even modify activities so that I could definitely play or participate.
I assumed that once the baby was actually here a lot of that excitement would eventually wear off and the promises to babysit anytime would fade away in the background. I was prepared that most people don't want a newborn showing up at a get together. I understood that I probably wasn't going to get to see my friends as much as I use to.
I started to wonder if I was wrong when we were in the hospital. We had lots of people come by to visit in the maternity ward of course, and Abby received hundreds of cuddles and kisses (not to mention gifts!). It was really when we moved up to pediatrics that I started appreciating that my friends might actually be serious. We had so many people come to keep us company.
My sister was kind enough to bring all three kids in on numerous occasions so that we could all visit, brought coffees and bagels, and offered us time off from the unit even though that meant she had to leave her own brood at home.
Cheyenne visited on so many lunch breaks and before and after so many shifts. I am sure the last thing anyone wants to do is go to work an hour early, or stay late, but there she was faithfully!
My parents were in all the time, bringing flowers, lunches, treats and gifts. My mom even sent us out to dinner and stayed with Abby when she had to have her IV initiated, because I knew I would be too emotional to watch my tiny little babe be poked.
Rachel was in so many times, and sat with us for hours on our last day there as we waited for Abby's last Bili test to be done. Honestly, had she not been there that day, I think we would have gone crazy waiting. She just patiently sat there, cuddling and loving out baby and even bottling her the formula top up that she needed.
There are so many people who came and supported us, and it just hasn't changed. I don't know why I am still surprised, but I am. My friends genuinely love my baby and want to spend time with her. She even gets invitations to things like Kaley's bridal shower! It is just such an amazing thing to watch someone unrelated to her want to hold her, cuddle her, and be with her. I have friends who take her when she is cranky in a restaurant and tell me to deal with it (Ashley, I am talking about you!). Friends who bottled her countless bottles at shopping malls, hockey rinks, restaurants and coffee shops (Carman, Cheyenne, Niki, Kaella...sound familiar?). Friends who send me messages that say something like "I miss Abby! We need to visit soon!" (Kaella, Rachel!). Friends who spoil her like crazy with random little gifts that just leave me floored that they thought of her (Carman, KAELLA). Friends who always make a point of telling me to bring Abby with me so that I don't feel like I am dragging her along (Alex, Kaley, Kirby). Friends who travel hours and hours to come visit and are perfectly happy to just sit at home rather than go out (Shan). Friends who cuddle her even though their baby is there too (Brett, Kim, TerriJo). I even had a Mom at swimming lessons this week who wanted to hold her while I got changed rather than me put her in her carseat. I could go on and on and name so many more names, but this would end up being the longest paragraph in the history of blogs.
Abrielle serving as our Pebbles in the Flintstones motif
I believe Ash said "Does this bother you watching her cry?"
and when I replied yes, she said "too bad".
I am pretty sure every time my sister sees
Abby she tells her that she missed her and
calls her pretty...and tells her she has Ewok
or Wombat ears.
The point is, I lost a total of 0 friends and have been limited in nothing since Abby was born. All of my friends have stuck around, kept their words and have warmed my heart over and over again with all the love, care and kisses that they treat my daughter too. We are both spoiled beyond belief, and I am so grateful for the people in my life!
Thursday 26 May 2011
On a day like today...
Finding Joy and Happiness in the Following Things:
-Snuggling deeper under the comforter this morning as I listened to the rain pour down outside
-Watching my daughter have a (one sided) conversation with my dog Chevy as he politely feigned interest
"Seriously, do they make a big deal out of it every time you poop?"
-Laughing until I cried because Abby was laughing so hard in her high chair today.
-Rooting my nephew on after going pee on the potty (and floor...and his leg...and a bowl. I told him to tuck!) and seeing how proud he was of himself.
-Watching my niece and nephew be so kind, caring and loving to my baby. They never fail to shower her with hugs, kisses, cuddles, toys and encouragement. Both are currently trying to teach her how to crawl.
Ryann "reading" her fave book to "Abberson"
This would have been shortly after the announcement
"Logan's turn!"
-Having a "grown up" conversation with my eldest niece as I struggled through about 1000 ringlets in a left side parted high ponytail (I never want to hear those 5 words again!).
-Finding out my brother in law made a special corner of the pizza that he made for the kids just for me, complete with lots of veggies and no cheese. How sweet is that?
-Getting extra cuddles today from a normally very independent baby.
-Sitting in the semi dark in Abbers' chair, cuddling her after a quick comfort nurse. I will never be able to get enough of that sweet face at rest.
-Realizing how amazing of team my husband and I are when it comes to parenting.
-Seeing my eldest niece actually licking the flavoring out of the popcorn package (I scrape it out with my nails personally, but it is the exact reason I make popcorn some times!).
-Secondary to that, introducing the littles to kettle corn microwave popcorn. Soooo delicious!
-Getting several impromptu phone calls and texts from great friends throughout the day.
-Secondary to that, loving the fact that my husband signs off every text message conversation with at least one "I love you".
-Thirdly to that, loving the fact that my husband and I, after 7 years, still say I love you at least 10 times a day. I honestly feel you can't tell people that enough.
Hope everyone else is finding some small joys in these rainy days!
-Snuggling deeper under the comforter this morning as I listened to the rain pour down outside
-Watching my daughter have a (one sided) conversation with my dog Chevy as he politely feigned interest
"Seriously, do they make a big deal out of it every time you poop?"
-Laughing until I cried because Abby was laughing so hard in her high chair today.
-Rooting my nephew on after going pee on the potty (and floor...and his leg...and a bowl. I told him to tuck!) and seeing how proud he was of himself.
-Watching my niece and nephew be so kind, caring and loving to my baby. They never fail to shower her with hugs, kisses, cuddles, toys and encouragement. Both are currently trying to teach her how to crawl.
Ryann "reading" her fave book to "Abberson"
This would have been shortly after the announcement
"Logan's turn!"
-Having a "grown up" conversation with my eldest niece as I struggled through about 1000 ringlets in a left side parted high ponytail (I never want to hear those 5 words again!).
-Finding out my brother in law made a special corner of the pizza that he made for the kids just for me, complete with lots of veggies and no cheese. How sweet is that?
-Getting extra cuddles today from a normally very independent baby.
-Sitting in the semi dark in Abbers' chair, cuddling her after a quick comfort nurse. I will never be able to get enough of that sweet face at rest.
-Realizing how amazing of team my husband and I are when it comes to parenting.
-Seeing my eldest niece actually licking the flavoring out of the popcorn package (I scrape it out with my nails personally, but it is the exact reason I make popcorn some times!).
-Secondary to that, introducing the littles to kettle corn microwave popcorn. Soooo delicious!
-Getting several impromptu phone calls and texts from great friends throughout the day.
-Secondary to that, loving the fact that my husband signs off every text message conversation with at least one "I love you".
-Thirdly to that, loving the fact that my husband and I, after 7 years, still say I love you at least 10 times a day. I honestly feel you can't tell people that enough.
Hope everyone else is finding some small joys in these rainy days!
Raisin Bread: For the love of carbs
Can you believe that this is figure friendly?
Every morning I have raisin toast with peanut butter for breakfast. Every morning. Well, with the exception of when I am away (particularily when we went to Cranbrook, and the entire town was devoid of raisin bread. Whatever).
I make my own, because it is even more delicious than store bought and I have modified a Weight Watchers recipe so that I don't have to feel completely terrible about scarfing it back every morning. This is (naturally) vegan, but you can substitute the...well...substitute for an actual egg and use real milk and I am sure it would work just fine!
2/3 c + 2 tbsps warm water (omit the 2 tbsp if you are using a real egg)
1/2 cup soy milk
1 tsp egg substitute ( I really like panne riso)
3 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp margarine
2 3/4 cup flour ( I like to use 1 cup white and the rest whole wheat, otherwise this gets really dense)
1/2 c raisins (or as many as you like, I just don't love ton of raisins!)
1 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp yeast
2 tsp cinammon
Add the ingredients in that order to your bread maker and use the sweet setting...ignore the add in beeper. Or, if you are doing it by hand, knead, let rise and bake for about an hour.
Enjoy!
Every morning I have raisin toast with peanut butter for breakfast. Every morning. Well, with the exception of when I am away (particularily when we went to Cranbrook, and the entire town was devoid of raisin bread. Whatever).
I make my own, because it is even more delicious than store bought and I have modified a Weight Watchers recipe so that I don't have to feel completely terrible about scarfing it back every morning. This is (naturally) vegan, but you can substitute the...well...substitute for an actual egg and use real milk and I am sure it would work just fine!
2/3 c + 2 tbsps warm water (omit the 2 tbsp if you are using a real egg)
1/2 cup soy milk
1 tsp egg substitute ( I really like panne riso)
3 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp margarine
2 3/4 cup flour ( I like to use 1 cup white and the rest whole wheat, otherwise this gets really dense)
1/2 c raisins (or as many as you like, I just don't love ton of raisins!)
1 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp yeast
2 tsp cinammon
Add the ingredients in that order to your bread maker and use the sweet setting...ignore the add in beeper. Or, if you are doing it by hand, knead, let rise and bake for about an hour.
Enjoy!
Wednesday 25 May 2011
Sweet Little Man
Yesterday I went to visit with a good friend who had a baby less than 2 weeks ago. When she answered the door, her sweet little man was wrapped up in a blanket, and my arms were full (and I still had another trip to make to the car in the pouring rain). Arriving back inside, I had to take of my wet jacket, extract Abby from her carseat and juggle smoothies, gifts and baby bags. Finally, I was ready to take a look at this little man.
And I was completely unprepared for what I would feel.
I took him in my arms, swaddled in a nice blanket, and I became overcome with emotion. He was just so tiny. And perfect. A beautiful, perfect little body, drowning in a tiny sleeper with rolled up sleeves. He was so alert, and his eyes didn't have that milkiness that a lot of newborns get. This little man was perfectly aware of who he was, and stared deep into my eyes.
I couldn't help it, I started to cry. I just started bawling looking at this little bundle of perfection in my arms. And of course, the new mama started crying too. The two of us just sat side by side, gazing at her son and bawling while Abby looked on from the couch, slightly bewildered. I was so happy for my friend that she got such an amazing little baby. I was so happy to meet him. I was just so....well, happy.
After I left I was talking to Ty, and I was literally gushing about how cute he was. Tyler asked the obvious question; "do you have baby fever now?". I had to think about it, but the answer is no. I think I was so overcome with emotion primarily because he was just such a perfect little specimen and I was so happy for my girlfriend. Secondly, I think he unconsciously reminded me of Abby when she was a newborn.
Actually, I now know that he reminded me of Abby a lot. They are both so small, yet so focused and strong. Tiny little facial features unobscured by that adorable chubbiness most babies have. He doesn't look anything like her, but I think holding that feather-light little boy took me back 7.5 months ago and reminded me of my perfect little newborn.
I was really able to enjoy Abby as a newborn. She was an easy, easy, easy baby who slept through the night after a week. She was a great napper, and loved being held by whoever's arms were open. Tyler stayed home for almost two weeks with me, and we had many leisurely breakfasts, afternoons in bed and lots of time bonding as a new family. It really was a storybook time full of love, cuddles and lots of sleep.
I know a lot of people don't have such an easy transition into motherhood, but I had a really good experience (and yes, I am fully aware my next baby will be a nightmare!).
As great as those times were, I don't wish them back. How can you after seeing all the other stages along the way? I feel as though I am fighting time and losing my baby day by day, but I can't begrudge it. She is growing and changing so much, and I only love her more and more with each stage. I thought that would be impossible, but I just find a bit more room in my heart everyday somehow. Right now, she is bouncing up and down like a maniac in her "office", squealing, singing and laughing, and smiling like a goon at Chevy (who is relegated to the back door until he has dried off).
I never could have guessed in a million years that back months ago, as I held my teeny daughter in my arms that she would grow and change into this amazing little girl. I couldn't have ever imagined that she would be so much fun, and bring me so much happiness. As I type this, I am looking at her smiling at me, and because of that, I am going to sign off, and go cuddle my (not so tiny anymore) little girl.
And I was completely unprepared for what I would feel.
I took him in my arms, swaddled in a nice blanket, and I became overcome with emotion. He was just so tiny. And perfect. A beautiful, perfect little body, drowning in a tiny sleeper with rolled up sleeves. He was so alert, and his eyes didn't have that milkiness that a lot of newborns get. This little man was perfectly aware of who he was, and stared deep into my eyes.
I couldn't help it, I started to cry. I just started bawling looking at this little bundle of perfection in my arms. And of course, the new mama started crying too. The two of us just sat side by side, gazing at her son and bawling while Abby looked on from the couch, slightly bewildered. I was so happy for my friend that she got such an amazing little baby. I was so happy to meet him. I was just so....well, happy.
After I left I was talking to Ty, and I was literally gushing about how cute he was. Tyler asked the obvious question; "do you have baby fever now?". I had to think about it, but the answer is no. I think I was so overcome with emotion primarily because he was just such a perfect little specimen and I was so happy for my girlfriend. Secondly, I think he unconsciously reminded me of Abby when she was a newborn.
Actually, I now know that he reminded me of Abby a lot. They are both so small, yet so focused and strong. Tiny little facial features unobscured by that adorable chubbiness most babies have. He doesn't look anything like her, but I think holding that feather-light little boy took me back 7.5 months ago and reminded me of my perfect little newborn.
I was really able to enjoy Abby as a newborn. She was an easy, easy, easy baby who slept through the night after a week. She was a great napper, and loved being held by whoever's arms were open. Tyler stayed home for almost two weeks with me, and we had many leisurely breakfasts, afternoons in bed and lots of time bonding as a new family. It really was a storybook time full of love, cuddles and lots of sleep.
I know a lot of people don't have such an easy transition into motherhood, but I had a really good experience (and yes, I am fully aware my next baby will be a nightmare!).
As great as those times were, I don't wish them back. How can you after seeing all the other stages along the way? I feel as though I am fighting time and losing my baby day by day, but I can't begrudge it. She is growing and changing so much, and I only love her more and more with each stage. I thought that would be impossible, but I just find a bit more room in my heart everyday somehow. Right now, she is bouncing up and down like a maniac in her "office", squealing, singing and laughing, and smiling like a goon at Chevy (who is relegated to the back door until he has dried off).
I never could have guessed in a million years that back months ago, as I held my teeny daughter in my arms that she would grow and change into this amazing little girl. I couldn't have ever imagined that she would be so much fun, and bring me so much happiness. As I type this, I am looking at her smiling at me, and because of that, I am going to sign off, and go cuddle my (not so tiny anymore) little girl.
Tuesday 24 May 2011
Presents and P!nk
Alternately Titled: Reason #437 why I love my family
Yup, a good ole fashion dance party.
Unfortunately we were having too much fun dancing to take any pictures :-(
We have dinner at my parent's house every Sunday night, along with my brother James, my sister and her family and sometimes an occasional guest. It is always a night filled with lots of conversation, laughter, wine, a few tears, great food and way too many delicious carbs.
This week we did it on Monday night because of the holiday, and also used it as a chance to celebrate Ty's birthday. Even though his birthday was May 8th, we were in Phoenix, my sister was in Lethbridge and parents were in Palm Springs, so we didn't have a family get together.
A delicious dinner of steak Diane, veggies and mashed potatoes (and vegetarian chili for me; do I have a great mom or what?) was followed with singing, presents and cake. Many jokes were made about Ty "knock, knock, knockin' on 30's door", and the excessive smoke from the candles (Ty turned 28...my brother in law who was making these jokes is almost 33...go figure). And of course, as is tradition in my family, the kids helped to blow out the candles and open gifts.
The kids helping Ty blow out alllll those candles
Bailey instructing Tyler to open his cards
"the Stewart way", which involves
shaking them upside down before
reading them so that all your money
can fall out. Ty went 3 for 3!
The cake was made by myself and was chocolate peanut butter, definitely not vegan, and must have been good because everyone said they liked it! Leave a comment if you would like the recipe. I had made and iced the cake at home and the girls were kind enough to decorate it with myriad of treats (tootsie rolls, caramel squares, caramel balls, chocolate covered banana chips and yogurt covered peanuts).
Peanut Butter and Chocolate Goodness, as a blank canvas
The master candy eaters cake decorators
The masterpiece! The top says "TY" and there is
a hockey shaped pretzel stick that my brother in law
found while digging around in the bag.
The rest of the night was basically a big love in. The kids played toys and peek a boo with Abby. I got hugs and kisses and jokes told from the girls. Heated debates arose regarding U2 and The Beatles...not sure, I stayed out of that one. People were made fun of. People were praised. And best of all, we had a dance party.
Hanging with my fave 4 year old
Yup, a good ole fashion dance party.
Ryann really likes dancing to P!nk, so we heard and witnessed several performances to Raise Your Glass, and Funhouse. Ryann is a dancer with some interesting moves. She rolls around on the floor. She strikes mysterious poses. She flings her hair around. She shimmies and sways with a sexy look on her face. And she's only 4.5. My sister and brother in law might be in for a world of trouble with this one!
Ryann and Bailey treated us to some partner salsa, and then it was time for a dance contest. We heard everything from P!nk, to Phil Collins, to Michael Jackson to New Kids on the Block. Bailey pulled out the worm. Logan pulled out his best break dancing moves. Abby jumped and boogied in whoever's arms that were holding her at the time. Everyone danced with abandon, happiness and joy.
That has got to be the best thing about family. Where else could something like that happen on a Monday night where people wouldn't be making fun of you on Tuesday morning? I love how kids inspire us to be creative and unabashed. And to burn off a few birthday cake calories while we are at it ;-)
Unfortunately we were having too much fun dancing to take any pictures :-(
Monday 23 May 2011
Something's Changed
My brother James and I went to a movie last night (Hanna, and I recommend it) and there was one little tiny snippet of a scene where there was a baby crying. Maybe 2 seconds of footage of a newborn, red-faced baby giving it's first cry to the world.
That 2 second clip was enough to drag me from being engrossed in the movie to thinking about my daughter. This baby didn't look or sound like her, yet instantly I missed her.
When Abby was born, she was a "thick mec". Basically, she pooped in utero, which can be dangerous because babies breath amniotic fluid until they are born. Because meconium (baby poop) is thick and sticky, this can lead to meconium aspiration, where it gets stuck in the respiratory system and can lead to breathing problems, and in extreme cases, death.
Fortunately, it was pretty obvious to me when my water broke that this was the case, so that is why we went to the hospital before I started having contractions. Given that my labor went so darn fast (not even 2.5 hours from first contraction to first push), it is a good thing that we went!
So, after 2 hours of pushing, out she came. Because they didn't want her to take a big breath and get that meconium in further, they didn't stimulate her. Tyler didn't get to cut the cord. I honestly don't think they even showed her to me. Off to the warmer she went where Dr. Levin (my fave pediatrician), NICU staff and respiratory staff was waiting for her to intubate and suction.
I swear I could hear the seconds ticking by, and I remember looking over at Ty a few times and trying to seem cool and collected, but really I had a sense of dread...I was waiting for that cry. That frantic, wavery, pissed off-healthy newborn cry that is the universal signal to all parents that their baby is here and healthy.
We waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And then she cried. And it was so beautiful, and my heart started beating again, and I realized that I had been holding my breath. Tyler teared up and I encouraged him to go see her.
When she finally got the all clear that she was staying with us and didn't need to go to the NICU, Tyler brought her over to me. Looking at him holding her, I knew he was head over heels in love, and bonded. He didn't want to give her up right away, and his face...I can't describe it, but take this picture and times it by about 100 and you get an idea of how he looked.
Look how tiny!
Finally, I got to hold her. My baby. The one I had been loving and carrying for 10 months (less a day). The one who had been kicking me, sitting up under my ribs, and keeping me up at night. This was her.
And I felt confused. I didn't feel that surge of motherhood connectedness that everyone talks about. She was beautiful, but looked so different from what I pictured. I was so bewildered....I just kept thinking "I get to keep this tiny little thing? This is mine? Forever?" and I couldn't get past that for a little while.
Don't get me wrong, I loved her from the start. No question there. I just had self doubt about myself as a mother. Everyone had talked to me about "that feeling" that you get when your baby is placed in your arms for the first time, and I didn't get that. What was wrong with me?
Not too long after, it was just Tyler, Abrielle and I in the delivery suite. I realized that she was hungry, so I tried to feed her. I assumed that I wouldn't actually know what to do (even though I have technically taught women how to do it) or that she wouldn't know what to do, but that wasn't the case. We got it. Right from the start.
And then I felt that rush. This was my baby. This was my little one, who depended on me and needed me. My little girl.
Maybe it was the time between her being born and me getting to see and hold her that caused the delay. Who knows? It really doesn't matter to me anymore, and I am not ashamed to tell my story. Because 10 minutes or so in her whole lifetime of me not feeling like a mother doesn't matter.
Watching that baby cry on the screen last night and getting a heart pang for my daughter, I know.
Something's changed.
That 2 second clip was enough to drag me from being engrossed in the movie to thinking about my daughter. This baby didn't look or sound like her, yet instantly I missed her.
When Abby was born, she was a "thick mec". Basically, she pooped in utero, which can be dangerous because babies breath amniotic fluid until they are born. Because meconium (baby poop) is thick and sticky, this can lead to meconium aspiration, where it gets stuck in the respiratory system and can lead to breathing problems, and in extreme cases, death.
Fortunately, it was pretty obvious to me when my water broke that this was the case, so that is why we went to the hospital before I started having contractions. Given that my labor went so darn fast (not even 2.5 hours from first contraction to first push), it is a good thing that we went!
So, after 2 hours of pushing, out she came. Because they didn't want her to take a big breath and get that meconium in further, they didn't stimulate her. Tyler didn't get to cut the cord. I honestly don't think they even showed her to me. Off to the warmer she went where Dr. Levin (my fave pediatrician), NICU staff and respiratory staff was waiting for her to intubate and suction.
I swear I could hear the seconds ticking by, and I remember looking over at Ty a few times and trying to seem cool and collected, but really I had a sense of dread...I was waiting for that cry. That frantic, wavery, pissed off-healthy newborn cry that is the universal signal to all parents that their baby is here and healthy.
We waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And then she cried. And it was so beautiful, and my heart started beating again, and I realized that I had been holding my breath. Tyler teared up and I encouraged him to go see her.
When she finally got the all clear that she was staying with us and didn't need to go to the NICU, Tyler brought her over to me. Looking at him holding her, I knew he was head over heels in love, and bonded. He didn't want to give her up right away, and his face...I can't describe it, but take this picture and times it by about 100 and you get an idea of how he looked.
Look how tiny!
Finally, I got to hold her. My baby. The one I had been loving and carrying for 10 months (less a day). The one who had been kicking me, sitting up under my ribs, and keeping me up at night. This was her.
And I felt confused. I didn't feel that surge of motherhood connectedness that everyone talks about. She was beautiful, but looked so different from what I pictured. I was so bewildered....I just kept thinking "I get to keep this tiny little thing? This is mine? Forever?" and I couldn't get past that for a little while.
Don't get me wrong, I loved her from the start. No question there. I just had self doubt about myself as a mother. Everyone had talked to me about "that feeling" that you get when your baby is placed in your arms for the first time, and I didn't get that. What was wrong with me?
Not too long after, it was just Tyler, Abrielle and I in the delivery suite. I realized that she was hungry, so I tried to feed her. I assumed that I wouldn't actually know what to do (even though I have technically taught women how to do it) or that she wouldn't know what to do, but that wasn't the case. We got it. Right from the start.
And then I felt that rush. This was my baby. This was my little one, who depended on me and needed me. My little girl.
Maybe it was the time between her being born and me getting to see and hold her that caused the delay. Who knows? It really doesn't matter to me anymore, and I am not ashamed to tell my story. Because 10 minutes or so in her whole lifetime of me not feeling like a mother doesn't matter.
Watching that baby cry on the screen last night and getting a heart pang for my daughter, I know.
Something's changed.
Saturday 21 May 2011
Indian Curry Stew with Naan Bread
Tonight for dinner I was going to be lazy and do veggie nuggets, roast some sweet potato and maybe some spinach. Then Tyler inquired for about the 3rd time this week if we were having curry.
Yes, the man who refused to try any ethnic food not found in a food court is asking for Indian.
So, off to work I set. This dish does take a little while to actually simmer, but isn't at all labor intensive. The naan bread...well...here is the story on that. I had never made it before and all of the recipes online looked really time consuming and complicated. So, without measuring I threw stuff in my bread maker and let it work for about 20 minutes. Turns out we had a winner! Not sure if I could ever duplicate it, but I will try.
Here are the recipes
Indian Curry Stew
Onion (diced)
Carrots (diced)
Green Peppers (diced)
Can of coconut milk
Lentils
Madras curry powder (or your fave curry)
2 potatoes, baked and cubed
2 sweet potatoes, baked and cubed
Soy milk
Sautee onions, carrots and peppers in olive oil until semi-soft. Add in sweet potato, potato and lentils. Add in one can of coconut milk and about half a cup of soy milk, and as much curry powder as you like. Bring to a boil, and then simmer while stirring frequently until thick.
Naan Bread (as best as I remember)
1 cup warm water
1 tsp sugar
1.5 tsp yeast
flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
garlic powder
Dissolve sugar in water, and then add the yeast until active (bubbly and kind of frothy...it will look a bit like miso soup). Pour into bread maker and add about 2 cups of flour, baking powder, garlic powder and salt. Use dough setting (or knead if doing by hand) and add flour until dough is stretchy and elastic and easy to handle. Form ovals and fry until golden brown in a greased fry pan.
Yes, the man who refused to try any ethnic food not found in a food court is asking for Indian.
So, off to work I set. This dish does take a little while to actually simmer, but isn't at all labor intensive. The naan bread...well...here is the story on that. I had never made it before and all of the recipes online looked really time consuming and complicated. So, without measuring I threw stuff in my bread maker and let it work for about 20 minutes. Turns out we had a winner! Not sure if I could ever duplicate it, but I will try.
Here are the recipes
Indian Curry Stew
Onion (diced)
Carrots (diced)
Green Peppers (diced)
Can of coconut milk
Lentils
Madras curry powder (or your fave curry)
2 potatoes, baked and cubed
2 sweet potatoes, baked and cubed
Soy milk
Sautee onions, carrots and peppers in olive oil until semi-soft. Add in sweet potato, potato and lentils. Add in one can of coconut milk and about half a cup of soy milk, and as much curry powder as you like. Bring to a boil, and then simmer while stirring frequently until thick.
Naan Bread (as best as I remember)
1 cup warm water
1 tsp sugar
1.5 tsp yeast
flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
garlic powder
Dissolve sugar in water, and then add the yeast until active (bubbly and kind of frothy...it will look a bit like miso soup). Pour into bread maker and add about 2 cups of flour, baking powder, garlic powder and salt. Use dough setting (or knead if doing by hand) and add flour until dough is stretchy and elastic and easy to handle. Form ovals and fry until golden brown in a greased fry pan.
I swear, it tastes better than it looks!
Everyone loved it! Abby got a bit of a deconstructed curry. although I did let her try the sauce because I made it pretty mild. She especially loved the naan! A carb freak after my own heart.
The cheerios weren't actually part
of the dish, but made a lovely
side for Abby
Happy Girl
"Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide world
Is a happy girl"
If the world happens to end today, I had a good go at it, and a wonderful morning with this little monkey. I always describe Abby as a happy baby, and friends always comment back the exact same...that she is just so happy all the time.
Now, she has her moments where she uses her mutant lungs for evil instead of good, but for the most part the soundtrack of my day is happy shrieks, squeals, "ya ya ya ya yas" and bubble blowing noises. She delights in so many things and shows her happiness physically (as you can see above!). She is a body in constant motion.
I often wonder if her joyful personality is due to amazing parenting (ha ha) or is just innate within her. She started smiling around 6 or 7 weeks (too lazy to pull out the baby calendar) and hasn't looked back. She treats everyone to the big sunny smile and we attract a lot of strangers that way.
As an aside, I really think that it is a beautiful thing what a baby does for society. Abby is a stranger magnet, and I have had so many conversations in elevators, airplanes, stores and coffee shops because of her. Normally, strangers at best make awkward eye contact and a shy smile, maybe a polite hello. Because of this beautiful child, I have been privy to some intimate moments and details of the lives of people who I had never met before. Having a baby with you, especially one who waves at and mugs for strangers really breaks down a lot of social barriers that never really should exist in society anyway.
She has two parents in a stable household
She was wanted before she was conceived, and loved from the very moment the second line appeared on the pregnancy test
She has been spoiled since approximately 14 weeks in utero by friends and family.
She has two sets of grandparents who live very close and who lavish love and attention on her
She has awesome Aunts and Uncles, including Auntie, Uncle, and 3 amazing "cuzzies" who live close and love and dote on her
She has many honorary Aunties and Uncles who cuddle, kiss, tickle and love her. I have many friends who have given her many bottles when we would be out and about (I use to not bottle her formula in fear she would get confused..crazy mom).
She has food in her belly, a warm place to sleep, and toys to keep her stimulated.
She has room to explore, grow, get bumps, get into trouble, and roll around.
What more could a baby want?
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide world
Is a happy girl"
getting some work done in her "office"
Now, she has her moments where she uses her mutant lungs for evil instead of good, but for the most part the soundtrack of my day is happy shrieks, squeals, "ya ya ya ya yas" and bubble blowing noises. She delights in so many things and shows her happiness physically (as you can see above!). She is a body in constant motion.
I often wonder if her joyful personality is due to amazing parenting (ha ha) or is just innate within her. She started smiling around 6 or 7 weeks (too lazy to pull out the baby calendar) and hasn't looked back. She treats everyone to the big sunny smile and we attract a lot of strangers that way.
As an aside, I really think that it is a beautiful thing what a baby does for society. Abby is a stranger magnet, and I have had so many conversations in elevators, airplanes, stores and coffee shops because of her. Normally, strangers at best make awkward eye contact and a shy smile, maybe a polite hello. Because of this beautiful child, I have been privy to some intimate moments and details of the lives of people who I had never met before. Having a baby with you, especially one who waves at and mugs for strangers really breaks down a lot of social barriers that never really should exist in society anyway.
Back to before though, what makes her so happy? Do we make her happy with the food we feed her, the cadence of our voices, the toys we give her, the way we tickle her tummy? Or is she happy because she has (virtually) no wants in life?
When she was really little my mom use to always comment on what a good baby she is (OK, she still comments on that a lot, but I think we are all getting use to the fact that she is an easy little one) and then follow that comment up with "but what does she have to complain about?". It's true though, Abrielle is a lucky, lucky, lucky baby.
She has two parents in a stable household
She was wanted before she was conceived, and loved from the very moment the second line appeared on the pregnancy test
She has been spoiled since approximately 14 weeks in utero by friends and family.
She has two sets of grandparents who live very close and who lavish love and attention on her
She has awesome Aunts and Uncles, including Auntie, Uncle, and 3 amazing "cuzzies" who live close and love and dote on her
She has many honorary Aunties and Uncles who cuddle, kiss, tickle and love her. I have many friends who have given her many bottles when we would be out and about (I use to not bottle her formula in fear she would get confused..crazy mom).
She has food in her belly, a warm place to sleep, and toys to keep her stimulated.
She has room to explore, grow, get bumps, get into trouble, and roll around.
What more could a baby want?
A theory just came to me. They say that babies learn to smile by watching their parents smile. Maybe the reason that Abbers is so happy is because she makes us so happy?
Friday 20 May 2011
Summer dinner on a dreary day
I got a surprise call from one of my best friends Rachel this morning who I haven't seen in a few weeks. Thankfully she was free for dinner, so we threw together a quick little something-something.
Pasta Salad
Italian Buns
These babies really puff up after proofing! I brushed them with margarine, and topped with a little sea salt.
I roasted some asparagus with olive oil and sea salt in the oven for a side dish. Ty also grilled up some steaks for the carnivores at the table.. picture not featured but here is the chef. Can you guess who his fave team is? And that is also a Canuck's hat, you just can't see the emblem in this picture.
I couldn't figure out how to rotate this, sorry!
A delicious (completely vegan, with the exception of the steak) meal, done in almost no time at all! If you want any complete recipes, let me know!
Pasta Salad
Easily one of my fave summer meals, because you can load it with nutritious veggies, use whole wheat pasta and eat it for a whole week. Tonight I used snap peas, cherry tomato, kalmata olives, broccoli, carrots, and mushrooms. I find that this is the kind of thing that just gets better and better the longer it sits in the fridge (within reason...). For a dressing I use a Tuscan Italian from the bottle. For extra protein, you could add some chia seeds or chickpeas, which I didn't do tonight, but they are a delicious add in. So easy!
Italian Buns
I combined my pizza dough recipe with a bun recipe (basically adding in some margarine, removing some salt from the dough itself and topping the buns with it instead). I use a 2/3-1/3 whole wheat to white flour blend so that these buns are really light and flaky. Rachel even took some home, so it is not just me telling you they are good! It is super fast and easy, and to get a nice shape I just stretch a ball of dough and then wrap it around my fingers
These babies really puff up after proofing! I brushed them with margarine, and topped with a little sea salt.Cinnamon Buns
Also now known as Rapture Buns...due to the "upcoming" rapture. I use a plain old roll recipe, and then top it with margarine, cinnamon, cane sugar and brown sugar. Delicious!
I roasted some asparagus with olive oil and sea salt in the oven for a side dish. Ty also grilled up some steaks for the carnivores at the table.. picture not featured but here is the chef. Can you guess who his fave team is? And that is also a Canuck's hat, you just can't see the emblem in this picture.
I couldn't figure out how to rotate this, sorry!A delicious (completely vegan, with the exception of the steak) meal, done in almost no time at all! If you want any complete recipes, let me know!
Daddy's Girl
Thick as Thieves
Abrielle and I have our whole days together. They start peacefully and quietly, generally in the near dark of the morning, with a quick feed around 6:30 or 7:00. Around 8:00 or 8:30 we face the day head on with bright eyes and a new diaper. We have a comfortable routine during the day peppered with cuddles, giggles, sleepy eyes, happy shrieks and the occasional whine. I'm all she could ever want or need.
Until her father comes home.
Yep, around 3:45 every afternoon, Abrielle becomes a complete and utter traitor. She knows the sound of the door opening. She squiggles and squirms and does all sorts of gymnastics so that she can have a better view of the entryway. As soon as she sees her Daddy it is big sunny smiles (from what I can tell, staring at the back of her head and all), and the most treasonous of new moves in her repertoire...she holds her arms out for him to pick her up. Even if I am already holding her.
The nerve! She never holds her arms out for me!
Ok, I get it. She has an amazing Daddy. She's got a guy who is willing to drop everything at the front door after a long day, when all he really wants to do is sit down and relax, and pick her up and toss her in the air.
And blow raspberries on her belly
And talk to her in a silly high pitched voice
And let her paw his face with those little hands
And ask her about her day (as though she had a taxing day at the office and might need to vent)
And look at her with such love that you would think they had been separated for weeks.
I'm not trying to sound put upon, because I know it is a good thing that shedemands wants her Daddy. If he got home and she wanted nothing to do with him, that would be hard on both of us. I am lucky that she doesn't have to be attached to Mama every minute of the day.
But a little acknowledgement would be nice!
After all, I do take care of her all day. That's not a chore or a hard task, but it is a fact. I roast and puree baby food. I change diapers. I change outfits. I bathe her. I cuddle her, sing to her, read to her and nurse her. I kiss her chubby cheeks and give her extra cuddles when she is sleepy so that I can breathe in that sweet baby smell another time. Shouldn't she still want me?
Since my back is still not 100%, Ty has taken over a lot of duties once he gets home. Last night I had taken a pill in the evening and couldn't nurse her, so my sweet hubby bathed, jammied, bottled and put Abby to bed. He brought her out for a kiss goodnight, but that was it.
Shouldn't I be happy to have gotten the break? I am....it just feels strange to not be doing that stuff. I know I am lucky to have such a great husband who can swoop in and make it all look effortless. I just wish that even once or twice she would look at me and hold her arms up when he is home.
I guess I will just have to settle for her undivided attention all day, and sit back and see the beauty in the two loves of my life loving each other like crazy.
Tyler and Abby reuniting after we had been away in Okotoks for the day.
Kisses from Daddy
Ty's absolute favourite thing to do with Abby
Loving his baby, sight unseen
Abrielle and I have our whole days together. They start peacefully and quietly, generally in the near dark of the morning, with a quick feed around 6:30 or 7:00. Around 8:00 or 8:30 we face the day head on with bright eyes and a new diaper. We have a comfortable routine during the day peppered with cuddles, giggles, sleepy eyes, happy shrieks and the occasional whine. I'm all she could ever want or need.
Until her father comes home.
Yep, around 3:45 every afternoon, Abrielle becomes a complete and utter traitor. She knows the sound of the door opening. She squiggles and squirms and does all sorts of gymnastics so that she can have a better view of the entryway. As soon as she sees her Daddy it is big sunny smiles (from what I can tell, staring at the back of her head and all), and the most treasonous of new moves in her repertoire...she holds her arms out for him to pick her up. Even if I am already holding her.
The nerve! She never holds her arms out for me!
Ok, I get it. She has an amazing Daddy. She's got a guy who is willing to drop everything at the front door after a long day, when all he really wants to do is sit down and relax, and pick her up and toss her in the air.
And blow raspberries on her belly
And talk to her in a silly high pitched voice
And let her paw his face with those little hands
And ask her about her day (as though she had a taxing day at the office and might need to vent)
And look at her with such love that you would think they had been separated for weeks.
I'm not trying to sound put upon, because I know it is a good thing that she
But a little acknowledgement would be nice!
After all, I do take care of her all day. That's not a chore or a hard task, but it is a fact. I roast and puree baby food. I change diapers. I change outfits. I bathe her. I cuddle her, sing to her, read to her and nurse her. I kiss her chubby cheeks and give her extra cuddles when she is sleepy so that I can breathe in that sweet baby smell another time. Shouldn't she still want me?
Since my back is still not 100%, Ty has taken over a lot of duties once he gets home. Last night I had taken a pill in the evening and couldn't nurse her, so my sweet hubby bathed, jammied, bottled and put Abby to bed. He brought her out for a kiss goodnight, but that was it.
Shouldn't I be happy to have gotten the break? I am....it just feels strange to not be doing that stuff. I know I am lucky to have such a great husband who can swoop in and make it all look effortless. I just wish that even once or twice she would look at me and hold her arms up when he is home.
I guess I will just have to settle for her undivided attention all day, and sit back and see the beauty in the two loves of my life loving each other like crazy.
Tyler and Abby reuniting after we had been away in Okotoks for the day.
Kisses from Daddy
Ty's absolute favourite thing to do with Abby
Loving his baby, sight unseen
Thursday 19 May 2011
Delicious Vegan Pizza!
A quick, easy dinner.
Although you don't need a bread maker to make the dough, it really makes this recipe even easier for a quick and healthy dinner. Ty and I have this a lot because it is a great way to have a vegan and non-vegan meal without having to do much extra prep work.
Crust
1 1/3 cups warm water
2 tsp sugar
1 1/4 tsp salt
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp cornmeal
3 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp garlic or garlic powder
Sprinkle of flax seeds (if desired!)
1 tsp Italian seasoning or your fave dried herbs (oregano, marjoram, etc).
1 1/2 tsp yeast
Add ingredients in order listed to bread maker (or...bowl if you are doing it the old fashion way). My dough setting runs about 1.5 hours.
Roll dough out on a very well floured (or cornmealed) surface and place on greased baking sheet or pizza pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 10-15 minutes.
I topped mine tonight with sauce, wilted spinach, diced peppers, a little Montreal Steak Spice and onions. Other fave ingredients are pineapple, broccoli, and olives. The crust is really flavorful and I swear you wont even miss the cheese!
Mine from tonight:
Although you don't need a bread maker to make the dough, it really makes this recipe even easier for a quick and healthy dinner. Ty and I have this a lot because it is a great way to have a vegan and non-vegan meal without having to do much extra prep work.
Crust
1 1/3 cups warm water
2 tsp sugar
1 1/4 tsp salt
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp cornmeal
3 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp garlic or garlic powder
Sprinkle of flax seeds (if desired!)
1 tsp Italian seasoning or your fave dried herbs (oregano, marjoram, etc).
1 1/2 tsp yeast
Add ingredients in order listed to bread maker (or...bowl if you are doing it the old fashion way). My dough setting runs about 1.5 hours.
Roll dough out on a very well floured (or cornmealed) surface and place on greased baking sheet or pizza pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 10-15 minutes.
I topped mine tonight with sauce, wilted spinach, diced peppers, a little Montreal Steak Spice and onions. Other fave ingredients are pineapple, broccoli, and olives. The crust is really flavorful and I swear you wont even miss the cheese!
Mine from tonight:
From Nursing to Nursing
On Returning to Work
I ran into a couple of girlfriends from nursing school yesterday (at the doctor's office no less), one of whom I worked with on Pediatrics and she asked me how much time I had left on maternity leave. Turns out, I only have less than 4.5 months left. How is that even possible?
When I was pregnant with Abbers, I was determined to work as long as possible before going on maternity leave. I was sure that she was going to be late, so I had booked myself shifts up to September 25th (a 12 hour night, no less). Turns out I only made it until September 19th, because at that point I was having some pretty major Braxton-Hicks while working and was scaring my co-workers. I had a running joke with my co-workers that they didn't have to deliver me, they just had to get me to the elevator and press "3", and then I would do the rest.
So, although I tried to hang on until the very end (and made it just 10 days short), my plans of leaving my shift and then heading down and delivering didn't come to fruition. Thankfully though, I have almost a full year of Mat Leave thanks to my thoughtful baby who didn't leave me hanging on to the very end.
As an aside, my old unit manager, Sharon, who if you know her you know is always impeccably dressed and put together and is very thoughtful, use to come in for the day and tell me every morning that I looked lovely. Now, keep in mind that I was wearing maternity tshirts because my scrubs didn't fit anymore, was generally coming off of a 12 hour night and would be covered in some sort of bio hazard, and had slept in a stretcher only a few hours before. Every pregnant lady needs someone like Sharon in their life to remind them that they are more than a giant stomach.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand: my rapidly deteriorating maternity leave. I am really sad that it is coming to an end. There are so many great things about being home all day. I get to see every little development that Abby has. I can sneak her into bed with me on a gray and sleepy morning such as this and have another half hour of sleep while she rests her sleepy head on my chest. I can do all the baking and cooking that I want without time constraint. My only plans for the week are those with friends, lunch dates, gymnastics or swimming lessons. I rarely have to consult a calendar. I can take as much vacation as I want (and have been doing so!). I thought that I might be bored being at home, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
That being said though, I am looking forward to returning to work. I really miss that contribution that I felt I was making to the patients and their families. I miss mixing medications, telling little ones that I am going to measure their muscles (take their blood pressure), educating families, praising appy patients for their laps around the unit, consulting with doctors and feeling like they are truly weighing the information given to them. I miss working in a team and learning from the amazing nurses that work on the unit.
I do have some reservations about going back though. I know a lot has changed since I left, including rotations, unit manager, and staffing model (apparently there are some LPNs working on the floor now). I feel as though I have probably lost some dexterity, have slower recall of medical terms, and might not be as familiar with signs and symptoms of common conditions as I once was. I am scared of going back and feeling like a new grad again.
I do however have confidence that I am a good nurse. I might be rusty and need to get back into the swing of things, but I don't doubt that I know how to do a great head to toe exam. I know how to explain a seemingly scary procedure to a little one in a way they understand. I am patient. I am kind. I am caring. I am confident...even if just in appearances. I know when to ask for help. I know where to find and how to apply a policy.
It will come back, and hopefully I will be able to get a lot of good experience under my belt so that I don't feel like this on my next maternity leave.
Going back to work also brings up a lot of other scary things I don't want to think about. Applying for actual positions (there is pretty much no hope of being anything but casual on peds for years). Looking for drop in child care for Abbers (my sister and I are hoping to avoid putting our kids in day care between the two of us). Feeling OK with going back to work and not spending all my time with Abby. Adjusting to a new balance Ty and I will have to strike since we will both be working. Ugh.
It's a lot to think about. But for right now, I am going to think about having another cup of coffee before playing with my little one.
I ran into a couple of girlfriends from nursing school yesterday (at the doctor's office no less), one of whom I worked with on Pediatrics and she asked me how much time I had left on maternity leave. Turns out, I only have less than 4.5 months left. How is that even possible?
When I was pregnant with Abbers, I was determined to work as long as possible before going on maternity leave. I was sure that she was going to be late, so I had booked myself shifts up to September 25th (a 12 hour night, no less). Turns out I only made it until September 19th, because at that point I was having some pretty major Braxton-Hicks while working and was scaring my co-workers. I had a running joke with my co-workers that they didn't have to deliver me, they just had to get me to the elevator and press "3", and then I would do the rest.
So, although I tried to hang on until the very end (and made it just 10 days short), my plans of leaving my shift and then heading down and delivering didn't come to fruition. Thankfully though, I have almost a full year of Mat Leave thanks to my thoughtful baby who didn't leave me hanging on to the very end.
As an aside, my old unit manager, Sharon, who if you know her you know is always impeccably dressed and put together and is very thoughtful, use to come in for the day and tell me every morning that I looked lovely. Now, keep in mind that I was wearing maternity tshirts because my scrubs didn't fit anymore, was generally coming off of a 12 hour night and would be covered in some sort of bio hazard, and had slept in a stretcher only a few hours before. Every pregnant lady needs someone like Sharon in their life to remind them that they are more than a giant stomach.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand: my rapidly deteriorating maternity leave. I am really sad that it is coming to an end. There are so many great things about being home all day. I get to see every little development that Abby has. I can sneak her into bed with me on a gray and sleepy morning such as this and have another half hour of sleep while she rests her sleepy head on my chest. I can do all the baking and cooking that I want without time constraint. My only plans for the week are those with friends, lunch dates, gymnastics or swimming lessons. I rarely have to consult a calendar. I can take as much vacation as I want (and have been doing so!). I thought that I might be bored being at home, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
That being said though, I am looking forward to returning to work. I really miss that contribution that I felt I was making to the patients and their families. I miss mixing medications, telling little ones that I am going to measure their muscles (take their blood pressure), educating families, praising appy patients for their laps around the unit, consulting with doctors and feeling like they are truly weighing the information given to them. I miss working in a team and learning from the amazing nurses that work on the unit.
I do have some reservations about going back though. I know a lot has changed since I left, including rotations, unit manager, and staffing model (apparently there are some LPNs working on the floor now). I feel as though I have probably lost some dexterity, have slower recall of medical terms, and might not be as familiar with signs and symptoms of common conditions as I once was. I am scared of going back and feeling like a new grad again.
I do however have confidence that I am a good nurse. I might be rusty and need to get back into the swing of things, but I don't doubt that I know how to do a great head to toe exam. I know how to explain a seemingly scary procedure to a little one in a way they understand. I am patient. I am kind. I am caring. I am confident...even if just in appearances. I know when to ask for help. I know where to find and how to apply a policy.
It will come back, and hopefully I will be able to get a lot of good experience under my belt so that I don't feel like this on my next maternity leave.
Going back to work also brings up a lot of other scary things I don't want to think about. Applying for actual positions (there is pretty much no hope of being anything but casual on peds for years). Looking for drop in child care for Abbers (my sister and I are hoping to avoid putting our kids in day care between the two of us). Feeling OK with going back to work and not spending all my time with Abby. Adjusting to a new balance Ty and I will have to strike since we will both be working. Ugh.
It's a lot to think about. But for right now, I am going to think about having another cup of coffee before playing with my little one.
Wednesday 18 May 2011
Mother's Day
This Mother's Day fell on Ty's birthday, so he (reluctantly...just kidding!) had to share the day with me! We were in Phoenix on May 8th, and the day started as pretty much any would. I got out of bed with Abby and got her situated with breakfast, made some toast and coffee for myself and really focused on enjoying my time with her on my first Mother's Day.
I was quite surprised when Ty lumbered out of the bedroom not minutes later, bleary eyed, asking me what I was doing up. We had a bit of a detente in the kitchen that finally resulted in me convincing him to go back to bed and sleep in on his birthday.
Truth be told, I have to get up at least once in the morning so that I can nurse Abby, and I really enjoy our mornings that are just the two of us. This is not to say that I wouldn't love a good sleep in here and there, but it is hard to really fall back asleep when you feel like you are missing something.
So, as I said, Ty went back to bed and Abby and I continued on doing what we do best for about another half hour until Ty came back out, collected us both, and we had a bit of a family cuddle. Then Abby went down for a nap and Ty and I were able to have a cuddle in bed. Do you ever notice how some of the best conversations happen while in cuddle?
The rest of the day past as most did there, in the pool, reading, and enjoying the sun. I received FB messages and texts all day wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. It really touched me to receive them from my friends, most of whom aren't mothers, and it made me think back to last Mother's Day when I got many messages wishing me the same.
(this is me, poking at my new found bump)
(us celebrating following the exam. Ceejay was thoughtful enough to get me a non-alcoholic shooter so I wouldn't be left out. This was minutes before receiving my call to interview for psych).
I had so much on the horizon at this time last year and so much to look forward to. I kept saying that 2010 was the best year ever, and nothing could top it. I had so many events happening and milestones to look forward to.
I had no idea that 2011 could be even better, although there are no big events or accomplishments in my life. I am so fulfilled being a mother that every day brings a new "best" moment in my life. I have described motherhood before as a feeling like waking up every morning and realizing again that you won the lottery, and this is more and more true every day.
The love of my life.
The light in my day.
The sweet in my dreams.
I was quite surprised when Ty lumbered out of the bedroom not minutes later, bleary eyed, asking me what I was doing up. We had a bit of a detente in the kitchen that finally resulted in me convincing him to go back to bed and sleep in on his birthday.
Truth be told, I have to get up at least once in the morning so that I can nurse Abby, and I really enjoy our mornings that are just the two of us. This is not to say that I wouldn't love a good sleep in here and there, but it is hard to really fall back asleep when you feel like you are missing something.
So, as I said, Ty went back to bed and Abby and I continued on doing what we do best for about another half hour until Ty came back out, collected us both, and we had a bit of a family cuddle. Then Abby went down for a nap and Ty and I were able to have a cuddle in bed. Do you ever notice how some of the best conversations happen while in cuddle?
The rest of the day past as most did there, in the pool, reading, and enjoying the sun. I received FB messages and texts all day wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. It really touched me to receive them from my friends, most of whom aren't mothers, and it made me think back to last Mother's Day when I got many messages wishing me the same.
A year ago on Mother's day I:
-Had just had my first ultrasound, confirming that I had (ONE) healthy baby
-Had just given up the battle with my non-maternity clothes
(this is me, poking at my new found bump)-Had recently just accepted a casual position on pediatrics
-Had just bought my first (gender neutral) baby clothes
-Was about to write my CRNEs and wasn't nervous!
(us celebrating following the exam. Ceejay was thoughtful enough to get me a non-alcoholic shooter so I wouldn't be left out. This was minutes before receiving my call to interview for psych).-Was about 4 weeks away from graduating.
I had so much on the horizon at this time last year and so much to look forward to. I kept saying that 2010 was the best year ever, and nothing could top it. I had so many events happening and milestones to look forward to.
I had no idea that 2011 could be even better, although there are no big events or accomplishments in my life. I am so fulfilled being a mother that every day brings a new "best" moment in my life. I have described motherhood before as a feeling like waking up every morning and realizing again that you won the lottery, and this is more and more true every day.
I have tears in my eyes right now as I am laughing at my goofy baby, who has had constant stream of chatter for the last half hour, stopping only to shovel more food in her mouth (or, subsequently, choke on that food). I wish I had the words to describe how being a mother feels to me but I don't. I don't even think it is so much being a mother that has changed me, but being a mother to Abrielle.
The love of my life.
The light in my day.
The sweet in my dreams.
The song in my heart.
Corny? Yes. True? Absolutely.
I didn't get to spend Mother's Day with my Mom, sister, or mother in law, but I definitely thought about them a lot that day. I am not sure how it happened, but somehow my relationship with my mom changed when I had Abby only by adding a new layer. I still feel like her little girl, and she still spoils my sister and I like we are little girls. I can say with certainty that my mom (aside from Ty) was one of the most excited about "Baby Maier" (as Abby was once known...for about 8 months. I debated naming her Baby, like from Dirty Dancing, just to make the transition easier for everyone). My Mom always, always always has my back, whether it is to lift me up when I am down, or level me out if I am riding to high. She is an amazing mother with an amazing sense of family, and I am so lucky to have inherited this from her. She remembers EVERYTHING...when Abby goes to the doctor, when Tyler has something at work, when I had a test. Mom really knows how to listen and make you feel special and loved.
My sister...I wish there were more words for Superwoman, but there aren't. She is an amazing mom to 3 kids and has mothered me on more than one occasion. She shows me every day the importance of letting your kids be who they are and not to sweat the small stuff. Her kids are a perfect example of how a child thrives in a loving and supportive environment.
My mother in law...pretty much a surrogate mother. She is a person who I can bounce ideas off of, talk about MTV shows with, or ask advice from. She is so open and kind hearted and I love how I feel closer and closer to her every day. She is an amazing Nana to Abby and I love how much she dotes on and adores my little one.
So, there are my thoughts on Mother's Day, a few weeks late. It is pretty incredible to know that for the rest of my life, I am going to be a mother. To how many kids? Who knows...we'll see what the fates have in store and what life holds for us (and no, we are not planning another baby quite yet). Whatever happens, I am so grateful for the love that has been brought into my life, and for my renewed appreciation for the mother's in my life.
Tuesday 17 May 2011
Attempting to get "back" into the swing of things
Caution: This blog was written under the influence of (prescription) narcotics
I've missed my blog! When we were in Phoenix the condo had NO WIFI (I know, horrible, right?) and I was not willing to attempt a full post on my phone. So, it has been a while, and although I wont recap the whole trip today, I will do a little catch up.
The vacation was great, Abby is an amazing traveller and a champ at flying. The only hitch in the vacation started around Wednesday night of our last week when my back started getting sore and I was having trouble standing up straight. Now, for any of you mothers out there, you know: this is a problem. Seeing as my piggy pants 7.5 month old now weighs 15.5 lbs, this was trouble. About 3 years ago I was in a really minor car accident where I was rear ended, and about once or twice a year my back goes out to the point where I am pretty much bed ridden.
So, Thursday morning, Carman and I set off with our good old buddy Samantha, (the often but not always accurate GPS) and got massages. The minute Ranita (my RMT) touched my back, she knew I had recently had a baby and said I was all out of alignment. Awesome. She focused the massage completely on my back and hips and it felt wonderful...until it was time to roll over on the table. Then I knew I was in even worse shape than I had come in at. I am sure it was just a matter of her relaxing some muscles that were keeping everything else in check, but before I was even dressed I was in a bit of a panic mode...I couldn't even walk without supporting myself on one leg.
Yes friends, I was walking around like Quasimodo...with hemorrhoids. So attractive.
Long story short, it wasn't better by Friday and I was really starting to panic. We were flying out that day, but Ty and Rick were driving on to Vegas, so it was just us girls. Carman and I had to drive about an hour to the airport, fly for 2 hours, and then drive for another 3. Thank GOD she was there, because she was essentially a pack mule for all of our things, and didn't even panic as we were sitting in the 100 degree heat trying to wrestle the car seat base out of the rental for 30 minutes. GAWD. But we made it!
Saturday morning it took me (no exaggeration) about 10 minutes to get out of bed. Every angle I tried led to a prohibitive amount of pain. After finally getting myself out of bed, then Abby out of her crib, changed and fed, I somehow managed to get her into her exersaucer. At that point, I called my mother in law Terri, and at 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday, she came over and rescued me. I mean, really rescued me. She took Abby over to her house, bought her baby food (of course, I didn't have any made since we were on vacation), bathed her, took care of her and let me rest. Not only that, but she took her for the night too.
Sunday morning my sister called and offered to take me to the hospital, which I initially refused. Less than an hour later I called her back and off we went. I was unable to straighten up out of an S shape when I was standing and was in a LOT of pain, no matter what position I stood/sat/lay in.
I was taken to fast track in the ER after probably less than half an hour, and the triage nurse actually offered me a wheelchairair due to my crooked gait. An hour after that I was all set with a morphine/gravol injection and toradol injection.
Now, I am not trying to sound like a huge martyr, but I can see how much pain I was in by the fact that morphine normally knocks me out...like, for 12 hours unconscious. I had morphine, percocet (or, Erky Perkies as I like to call them), and T3s on board (prescription, relax) and I was still awake...what the heck?
So, my wonderful sister not only shuttled me to the hospital on Sunday, but took care of my baby Monday morning before her babysitter came over (thanks Nancy!), and then my Mom took over from there. Also, she has had Abby since 6:45 this morning and is keeping her until Ty gets home.
I am so freakin' lucky to have such great family.
Now for a bit of complaining. I feel like the worst mother in the world. I know that I can't take care of Abbers properly and that I would be doing a lot of damage by keeping her here with me. Also, because of the T3s and Erky Perkies, I am sleeping a lot of my day away and I worry that I wouldn't be "all there" for her. But, I have never had a situation where I couldn't take care of my own baby. I can't even nurse her because of the medication I am on. Initially, I was just going to let myself dry up and have her be a bottle baby, but I can't do it. I'm not ready yet. Ty put her in my arms yesterday morning while he was getting her bottle ready and she nestled her sleepy little self right into me and started pulling at my shirt and actually got frantic trying to nurse. It was enough to almost break my heart, so that settled it. Now, I have to pump (my favourite thing to do...ugh) throughout the day, which is tough, because it also means I have to sit upright for at least half an hour at a time.
Whine whine whine, complain complain complain. Sorry.
My eyes are getting heavy and I really can't sit anymore, so I will sign off, and hopefully tomorrow I will be in fine form, with my baby here with me, and not under the influence.
I've missed my blog! When we were in Phoenix the condo had NO WIFI (I know, horrible, right?) and I was not willing to attempt a full post on my phone. So, it has been a while, and although I wont recap the whole trip today, I will do a little catch up.
The vacation was great, Abby is an amazing traveller and a champ at flying. The only hitch in the vacation started around Wednesday night of our last week when my back started getting sore and I was having trouble standing up straight. Now, for any of you mothers out there, you know: this is a problem. Seeing as my piggy pants 7.5 month old now weighs 15.5 lbs, this was trouble. About 3 years ago I was in a really minor car accident where I was rear ended, and about once or twice a year my back goes out to the point where I am pretty much bed ridden.
So, Thursday morning, Carman and I set off with our good old buddy Samantha, (the often but not always accurate GPS) and got massages. The minute Ranita (my RMT) touched my back, she knew I had recently had a baby and said I was all out of alignment. Awesome. She focused the massage completely on my back and hips and it felt wonderful...until it was time to roll over on the table. Then I knew I was in even worse shape than I had come in at. I am sure it was just a matter of her relaxing some muscles that were keeping everything else in check, but before I was even dressed I was in a bit of a panic mode...I couldn't even walk without supporting myself on one leg.
Yes friends, I was walking around like Quasimodo...with hemorrhoids. So attractive.
Long story short, it wasn't better by Friday and I was really starting to panic. We were flying out that day, but Ty and Rick were driving on to Vegas, so it was just us girls. Carman and I had to drive about an hour to the airport, fly for 2 hours, and then drive for another 3. Thank GOD she was there, because she was essentially a pack mule for all of our things, and didn't even panic as we were sitting in the 100 degree heat trying to wrestle the car seat base out of the rental for 30 minutes. GAWD. But we made it!
Saturday morning it took me (no exaggeration) about 10 minutes to get out of bed. Every angle I tried led to a prohibitive amount of pain. After finally getting myself out of bed, then Abby out of her crib, changed and fed, I somehow managed to get her into her exersaucer. At that point, I called my mother in law Terri, and at 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday, she came over and rescued me. I mean, really rescued me. She took Abby over to her house, bought her baby food (of course, I didn't have any made since we were on vacation), bathed her, took care of her and let me rest. Not only that, but she took her for the night too.
Sunday morning my sister called and offered to take me to the hospital, which I initially refused. Less than an hour later I called her back and off we went. I was unable to straighten up out of an S shape when I was standing and was in a LOT of pain, no matter what position I stood/sat/lay in.
I was taken to fast track in the ER after probably less than half an hour, and the triage nurse actually offered me a wheelchairair due to my crooked gait. An hour after that I was all set with a morphine/gravol injection and toradol injection.
Now, I am not trying to sound like a huge martyr, but I can see how much pain I was in by the fact that morphine normally knocks me out...like, for 12 hours unconscious. I had morphine, percocet (or, Erky Perkies as I like to call them), and T3s on board (prescription, relax) and I was still awake...what the heck?
So, my wonderful sister not only shuttled me to the hospital on Sunday, but took care of my baby Monday morning before her babysitter came over (thanks Nancy!), and then my Mom took over from there. Also, she has had Abby since 6:45 this morning and is keeping her until Ty gets home.
I am so freakin' lucky to have such great family.
Now for a bit of complaining. I feel like the worst mother in the world. I know that I can't take care of Abbers properly and that I would be doing a lot of damage by keeping her here with me. Also, because of the T3s and Erky Perkies, I am sleeping a lot of my day away and I worry that I wouldn't be "all there" for her. But, I have never had a situation where I couldn't take care of my own baby. I can't even nurse her because of the medication I am on. Initially, I was just going to let myself dry up and have her be a bottle baby, but I can't do it. I'm not ready yet. Ty put her in my arms yesterday morning while he was getting her bottle ready and she nestled her sleepy little self right into me and started pulling at my shirt and actually got frantic trying to nurse. It was enough to almost break my heart, so that settled it. Now, I have to pump (my favourite thing to do...ugh) throughout the day, which is tough, because it also means I have to sit upright for at least half an hour at a time.
Whine whine whine, complain complain complain. Sorry.
My eyes are getting heavy and I really can't sit anymore, so I will sign off, and hopefully tomorrow I will be in fine form, with my baby here with me, and not under the influence.
Tuesday 3 May 2011
California Dreamin
My First Blog From Abroad!
We have arrived in Palm Springs safe and sound after a 13 hour journey. Luckily, Abrielle was an ANGEL and was either happy as a clam or sound asleep.
We set course for Great Falls at around 12:30 on Monday and got there with plenty of time before needing to be at the airport. Tyler (being the sweetie that he is) surprised me by taking me to Baker Bobs. Baker Bobs is a little sandwich shop in downtown Great Falls that has amazing homemade breads, soups, sandwiches, and baked goods. We have only been there once, and that was when we went to Great Falls to celebrate our 1 year anniversary back in 2008 (how time flies!). We made it there with about a half hour before they closed and had some amazing (and cheap) sandwiches.
We then walked around the downtown, which is quite old and full of historic buildings. We happened upon a cute little pet store where we played with some puppies. At the very back of the store there was a huge glassed in area with about 5 monkeys in it! None were for sale, they were just residents of the store. I was too scared to take a picture in the store because there were a million signs telling you what you couldn't do, so we settled for one outside the shop.
Next we headed to the airport and hung out for about an hour, and then we were off to Phoenix! Abby seemed to be really excited for her first flight, but apparently that enthusiasm died quickly.
Here she is with Tyler, watching the city lights as we landed. Talk about 2 peas in a pod.
A quick change into her jammies and we loaded up our rental car (free upgrade! Boo-yah!) and set off for Palm Springs. Tyler's parents called us and offered to put us up in a hotel for the night (so sweet!) but we gratefully declined and set course along the freeway. First, we stopped for some snacks. Now, here is what I love about the states. I got myself 44 ozs of Diet Coke for the low low price of $0.79! How can you beat that deal?
We arrived in Palm Springs at about 1:30 am, Abby still sleeping like an angel in the backseat. Coming here is almost like coming home. We know and love the area, and I automatically feel happier just being here.
I don't know that I will be posting too much over the next two weeks, but I am going to sign off with some crazy cute pictures of my little beach baby!
We have arrived in Palm Springs safe and sound after a 13 hour journey. Luckily, Abrielle was an ANGEL and was either happy as a clam or sound asleep.
We set course for Great Falls at around 12:30 on Monday and got there with plenty of time before needing to be at the airport. Tyler (being the sweetie that he is) surprised me by taking me to Baker Bobs. Baker Bobs is a little sandwich shop in downtown Great Falls that has amazing homemade breads, soups, sandwiches, and baked goods. We have only been there once, and that was when we went to Great Falls to celebrate our 1 year anniversary back in 2008 (how time flies!). We made it there with about a half hour before they closed and had some amazing (and cheap) sandwiches.
We then walked around the downtown, which is quite old and full of historic buildings. We happened upon a cute little pet store where we played with some puppies. At the very back of the store there was a huge glassed in area with about 5 monkeys in it! None were for sale, they were just residents of the store. I was too scared to take a picture in the store because there were a million signs telling you what you couldn't do, so we settled for one outside the shop.
Next we headed to the airport and hung out for about an hour, and then we were off to Phoenix! Abby seemed to be really excited for her first flight, but apparently that enthusiasm died quickly.
Here she is with Tyler, watching the city lights as we landed. Talk about 2 peas in a pod.
A quick change into her jammies and we loaded up our rental car (free upgrade! Boo-yah!) and set off for Palm Springs. Tyler's parents called us and offered to put us up in a hotel for the night (so sweet!) but we gratefully declined and set course along the freeway. First, we stopped for some snacks. Now, here is what I love about the states. I got myself 44 ozs of Diet Coke for the low low price of $0.79! How can you beat that deal?
We arrived in Palm Springs at about 1:30 am, Abby still sleeping like an angel in the backseat. Coming here is almost like coming home. We know and love the area, and I automatically feel happier just being here.
I don't know that I will be posting too much over the next two weeks, but I am going to sign off with some crazy cute pictures of my little beach baby!
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