Sweet Little Man

Yesterday I went to visit with a good friend who had a baby less than 2 weeks ago.  When she answered the door, her sweet little man was wrapped up in a blanket, and my arms were full (and I still had another trip to make to the car in the pouring rain).  Arriving back inside, I had to take of my wet jacket, extract Abby from her carseat and juggle smoothies, gifts and baby bags.  Finally, I was ready to take a look at this little man.

And I was completely unprepared for what I would feel.

I took him in my arms, swaddled in a nice blanket, and I became overcome with emotion.  He was just so tiny.  And perfect.  A beautiful, perfect little body, drowning in a tiny sleeper with rolled up sleeves.  He was so alert, and his eyes didn't have that milkiness that a lot of newborns get.  This little man was perfectly aware of who he was, and stared deep into my eyes.

I couldn't help it, I started to cry.  I just started bawling looking at this little bundle of perfection in my arms.  And of course, the new mama started crying too.  The two of us just sat side by side, gazing at her son and bawling while Abby looked on from the couch, slightly bewildered.  I was so happy for my friend that she got such an amazing little baby.  I was so happy to meet him.  I was just so....well, happy.

After I left I was talking to Ty, and I was literally gushing about how cute he was.  Tyler asked the obvious question; "do you have baby fever now?".  I had to think about it, but the answer is no.  I think I was so overcome with emotion primarily because he was just such a perfect little specimen and I was so happy for my girlfriend.  Secondly, I think he unconsciously reminded me of Abby when she was a newborn. 

Actually, I now know that he reminded me of Abby a lot.  They are both so small, yet so focused and strong.  Tiny little facial features unobscured by that adorable chubbiness most babies have.  He doesn't look anything like her, but I think holding that feather-light little boy took me back 7.5 months ago and reminded me of my perfect little newborn.



I was really able to enjoy Abby as a newborn.  She was an easy, easy, easy baby who slept through the night after a week.  She was a great napper, and loved being held by whoever's arms were open.  Tyler stayed home for almost two weeks with me, and we had many leisurely breakfasts, afternoons in bed and lots of time bonding as a new family.  It really was a storybook time full of love, cuddles and lots of sleep. 
I know a lot of people don't have such an easy transition into motherhood, but I had a really good experience (and yes, I am fully aware my next baby will be a nightmare!).

As great as those times were, I don't wish them back.  How can you after seeing all the other stages along the way?  I feel as though I am fighting time and losing my baby day by day, but I can't begrudge it.  She is growing and changing so much, and I only love her more and more with each stage.  I thought that would be impossible, but I just find a bit more room in my heart everyday somehow.  Right now, she is bouncing up and down like a maniac in her "office", squealing, singing and laughing, and smiling like a goon at Chevy (who is relegated to the back door until he has dried off). 

I never could have guessed in a million years that back months ago, as I held my teeny daughter in my arms that she would grow and change into this amazing little girl.  I couldn't have ever imagined that she would be so much fun, and bring me so much happiness.  As I type this, I am looking at her smiling at me, and because of that, I am going to sign off, and go cuddle my (not so tiny anymore) little girl.