Old Lady

Last night we went over to a friend's house to play poker, so we had my mother in law watch Abby for us.  It was decided ahead of time that she would stay the night there, and although I was a little reluctant at first, I realized that it was a good idea.  Now, when I say I was reluctant, it is only because of that annoying little thing called mother's guilt. I get it all of the time, where even though I know that Abby's Nana loves having her and spending time with her, and offers to take her, I still feel like I am dumping my baby on her.

So, poker was played and something crazy happened.

I didn't win.

I know, I was shocked too.  I did make it to the final 5, but I got no taste of that sweet $300 pot.  It was still lots of fun though, and I got a chance to have a good chat with some girlfriends who I hadn't seen in a while.  Later on in the night, my eyes started to feel dry and I realized that it was after 2 am.  Seriously, I do not stay up that late anymore!  I was actually pretty proud of myself!

We ended up walking home because we couldn't drive because it was a nice night, and got back around 3 am.  At that point I was really tired.  Still, I managed to make it until around 4 am before nodding off, and didn't wake up until 10 am this morning.  Yes...10 am.  Even though I told my mother in law to call me when Abby got up.  I know, I am super spoiled (and, p.s, my baby was even bathed when I went to get her.  Score).

The point of this is, when did I get so old?  Tyler and I use to stay up until at least 4 or 5 am pretty much every weekend, sleep the next day away and then start again.  Our house parties lasted until the wee hours of the morning.  This really doesn't seem so long ago!

I feel like I am aging at a  breakneck speed.  I can see it in my face, my lack of stamina, my attitudes and my opinions. I search daily for my first gray hair and make my hairdresser look for them too.  Alarmingly, it is becoming evident more and more when I hear songs from highschool on 90's at 9 and realize that they are becoming oldies.  Yikes.  I am hesitant to blame it on having a baby, although I am sure that is part of the story.  As much as our lives haven't changed on the whole, there are subtle shifts here and there that mark a passage into a different way of life.

My mom has a great saying that along  the lines of "I'd rather get older than the alternative", and it is true.  You can't stop or slow the passage of time.  Day by day, I am going to get older, as are the people and things around me.  So what am I going to do about it?  Bemoan and lament that my bedtime is now earlier, or embrace the joys, knowledge and adventures that have come with each passing year?

The latter sounds  better to me.